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Kraken Yoga

QIC:  M.I.A.

Date: 05/21/2022

PAX: AOL, Juice Box, Life Alert, Limu, Shake N Bake

AO: Legacy

Conditions

Gloomy Perfection

COP

  • 2 x Kraken Burpees
  • Mosey with blocks to the field at the park

The Thang

EMOM 2 x Kraken Burpees

Ladder after each rung run 30 yards to cones then return to start next rung

10 x Head Shoulders Knees & Toes

20 x Grave Diggers (easy count)

30 x Big Boys

40 x CPRs

50 x Ballerina Squats

60 x LBCs

70 x OH Presses

80 x SSH

90 x It doesnt matter nobody made it this far

100 x Curls

COT

Talked about perseverance and the importance of doing hard things intentionally.

Moleskin

Thanks to AOL (actually Mothballs) for the use of his “speaker”. YHC has spent less money on multiple cars than that party box must have cost.

Everything after one minute was under duress from Life Alert.

Shake N Bake refused to talk to YHC.

News

2nd-F Channel
3rd-F Channel
Memorial Day Burph at The Dam
July events coming up (Fallen Five, Lookouts, Re-launch of Anvil Pound Town)

Recent Backblasts

    Posted on

    There IS a Core Down There

    QIC:  M.I.A.

    Date: 02/21/22

    PAX: Full Moon, Ramrod (Respect), Tinder, Toe Tag

    AO: Hacksaw

    Conditions

    It was a real beaut of a morning. About 40 and light wind.

    COP

    Mosey to the Veteran’s Park, followed by a lap around the outside of the park.

    Forward Fold
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Lil’ Baby Arm Circles
    Big Arm Circles

    Enough of that

    The Thang

    5 Stations:
    Flutter Kicks
    Deadlift (60 lb. Sandbag)
    Ab Roller (of Death)
    Slam Ball American Hammers
    Slam Ball Burpee Toss – Control

    Each PAX at a station, completed exercise until the control station completed a circuit of throwing the slam ball approximately 25 yards (burpee before each toss) and back. Then PAX rotate.

    After each complete rotation PAX completed an indigenous people’s run around the park (400m)

    COT

    There was a COT. If you were there you heard it.

    Moleskin

    There was a large amount of dislike of that ab roller.

    YHC was filling in for a HIM that had to deal with some family issues, offered to two other PAX to take the Q, as both hemmed and hawed, YHC finally had to take the reigns. Those two PAX still moaned about it.

    Toe Tag blames the ab roller (of death) for his probable hernia. YHC takes referral fees doc.

    News

    3rd F things, 1st F things…. we may need to plan some more 2nd F things.

    Recent Backblasts

      Posted on

      Hangman & Wordle Gone Wrong Run Day


      Disclaimer to backblast: I apologize in advance for the poor quality of this message. It was created by finger pokes in the notes app on my seasoned iPhone. Subsequently, I anticipate transporting this message by carrier pigeon to MIA to post on Slack since he kindly offered to assist the technologically challenged PAX like myself. Consequently, set your expectations low, as this will pale in comparison to the grandeur of Gusher, 9Volt, Prosciutto, Mansiere and the other brilliant minds whose company I greatly enjoy. Henceforth and so on;;; Et Al.

      QIC: Zima
      Date: February 2, 2022 A.D.
      PAX: Gusher, Squirt, Friday, Mansiere
      AO: Convoy
      Conditions: Highly desirable. 43 degrees with a weak 80% threat of rain. I wore gloves because I wanted to, not because I needed to. More on that later.

      Disclaimer [to workout]: (redacted per legal Dept)

      Warmup

      SSH IC x10
      WMH IC x10
      FF IC X10
      ITT OYO
      Burpees x25 OYO

      Burpees in the warmup are not well received. Burpees thereafter seem to encounter similar dispositions. I cannot relate.

      The Thang: Hangman Wordle Hybrid Run Game

      Mosey to track. I wanted to jailbreak but my audience was still a little uneasy and displeased from the warmup. I advised them around this time that I had intentionally omitted most of the punitive components of the workout upon further deliberation. This was at least partially true.

      1/2 mile native run.

      Rules were then explained to my messed up game, and it goes something like this. Each PAX takes a turn guessing a F3 exercise name. If the guess is correct, the letter is placed in the appropriate part of the word and the PAX complete 20 reps of said exercise. If an incorrect exercise is guessed, there is a 10 burpee penalty and one 5th of a hangman is assumed on the diagram.

      Exhibit A: (see illustration at top)

      
      Sidebar: Burrito HCed and didn’t show up but I forgive him.

      Since the letter ‘e’ doesn’t have any go-too F3 exercise names, I asked Mansiere to pick a vowel. He picked a non-active one. 10 burpee penalty. Not his fault. This game was over engineered and inadvertently flawed in design.

      1/2 mile native run.

      Gusher proceeded to make an incorrect guess at one of the F3 exercise names that comprised the unknown 5 character Wordle hangman hybrid in question. Also, not his fault. Regardless (I prefer to use irregardless even though that’s not a word…), 10 burpee penalty.

      1/4 Mile native run (abbreviated distance due to time constraints and interest in completing poorly portrayed game)

      Lightning round. Squirt guessed burpees. While a wrong answer, still a winner in mind because of my affinity for the exercise. However, 10 burpee penalty. It was at this juncture I started to incur remarks about how no one wore gloves because it was run day. I was wearing gloves but I did sympathize with their plight. Friday made a solid attempt that was also determined to be incorrect. 10 burpee penalty.

      1/4 Mile native run.

      I used my turn to complete the Wordle hangman treachery and thereby avoid further and even more substantial burpee penalties. The word(ish) is below referenced.

      V ups
      I mperial walkers
      B ig boys
      E – ‘vowel named as clue’
      S – SH

      1/4 Mile native run

      Even though the distances referenced herein may not add up to 2 miles, Mansiere assured me that is the distance we covered. I believe him.

      Next up, 100 meter jail breaks. One per minute until directed otherwise. We did 6 – 8. My mental fortitude failed me at that time so I don’t recall much thereafter. However, we did finish up with a micro set of the Bruce Lee workout/(modified):

      American Hammer x10 HC OYO
      Leg Raises x20 OYO
      LBC x20 OYO
      Crunchy Frog x20 OYO
      100s x20 OYO
      V-ups x20 OYO (not part of Bruce Lee workout)

      COT:

      We are in the season of winter but I also realize we have seasons in our lives. Last night I was rocking my almost two year old son Miles to sleep in my arms while singing to him. I don’t sing, but I do for him – in said setting. I realized at that time, a year from now, I would no longer being doing that. The season would have passed. I encouraged everyone to find delight in the seasons of life. The word ‘Vibes’ was chosen because it is important to understand our feelings and to manage them because they affect no only ourselves but those around us. Choosing to approach things positively changes your perception and consequently your experience, which is quite literally reality.

      Moleskin:

      While we were running, I asked if my fellow PAX if they had a favorite word. Gusher replied, after a little consideration, that he had always enjoyed the word apropos. I concurred with his sentiment. Squirt said Mamosa was his favorite word. I like the way he thinks I thought. Friday said he couldn’t hear me, which was because I was playing trashy music from the Fanny pack I was wearing while running. He probably thinks I’m an idiot and he may be right.

      Announcements: 3F stuff, respectively.

      Prayer Request & Praises:

      Mox is having a baby today!

      Posted on

      Please Insert Your Card Into My Slot

      QIC: M.I.A.

      Date: 1/3/2022

      PAX: Abercrombie, Blackout, Face Plant, Full Moon, Jaws, Ramrod, Tatonka, Tinder, Toe Tag  

      AO: Hacksaw

      Conditions

      The ground was soaked from days of rain, the air was getting colder by the minute and we all shared the stiffest of breezes.

      COP

      FF, Stretches, Arm Circles, etc.

      Followed by a mosey to the parking lot by the hill.

      The Thang

      PAX circled up, and all PAX were informed of the location of the Hacksaw Flag… at the top of the hill. PAX in turn visited the flag to draw a card from a workout deck located by the flag. All PAX not traveling to the flag completed the exercise given until the next card arrived back at the circle of PAX. Any participant may stop completing the exercise in order to run to join the PAX traveling to the flag.

      Exercises:
      Squats,
      Alternating Side Squats,
      Plank Jacks,
      Low and Slow Squats,
      Shoulder Taps,
      SSH,
      Freddie Mercuries,
      Flutter Kicks

      There were certainly more…

      With 10 minutes remaining all PAX returned to the flag together, doing merkins until the 6 was in.

      All PAX moseyed with flag (because YHC didn’t want to drive up there and pick it up and it was patriotic) to the pavilion.

      And … time.

      COT

      Goals are important to many people this time of year, but remember to set goals that don’t focus on bettering just yourself. How can you live third if you are putting yourself, your comfort, your image, your desires before others or before your creator?

      Moleskin

      The workout was high on the MC scale.

      YHC requested each PAX to deposit his workout card into the slot of his fanny pack (which was also patriotic). Some didn’t know how to graciously accept the proffered slot.

      Toe Tag somehow found a dry spot on the concrete which had been rained upon for 4 days. Then he proceeded to soil it… naturally.

      Gale force winds were present at the top of the hill. And near Toe Tag.

      Most of the PAX complained that there were too many squats cards pulled, but they all had a moment alone at the flag to sort through the cards, so integrity apparently won out.

      6 PAX of the 10 participated in runnership prior to the beatdown, and none of them could feel their faces, nor did they complain (much).

      News

      Biggest Loser Challenge for any who want some accountability in meeting health goals.

      Chubby’s: Mondays

      4th F Weekend Coming up in May

      Posted on

      At Least it Wasn’t Raining

      QIC: M.I.A.

      Date: 12/30/2021

      PAX: 9-Volt, Abercrombie, Cooter, El Chapo, Man Bun, Schnitzel, Woodrider, WuzntMe 

      AO: The Battery

      Conditions

      The conditions of this week made the Q happy. The PAX may or not feel the same.

      COP

      SSH,
      Hand Release Merkins,
      Flutter Kicks,
      It was all downhill from there.

      The Thang

      The PAX split into two teams. One team only had 4 people, but that team had Abercrombie, so they were still better off.

      Each team member manned a station and rotated stations when the control station completed the workout prescribed.

      Heat 1
      Stations
      Control – Army Crawl 10 yards and back
      OH Press w/ coupon
      Squats
      Hand Release Merkins
      Burpees

      Winners: 1 Round of Maker Boilers
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 2
      Stations
      Same as Heat 1

      Winners: 1 Round of Boiler Makers
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 3
      Stations
      Control – Dying Seal 10 yards
      Curls for the Girls
      Lunges
      Flutter Kicks
      Burpees

      Winners: 1 Round of Indigenous Lunge Line
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 4
      Stations
      Same as Heat 3

      Winners: 1 Round of Maker Boilers
      Losers: Stayed at home in their Fartsack

      Heat 5
      Stations
      Control – Shrimp 10 yards
      Curls for the Girls
      Lunges
      Flutter Kicks
      Burpees

      Winners: 2 Minutes of Mary
      Losers: Inverted plank

      COT

      “A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
      YHC didn’t know the source of the quote until typing this, but was not expecting a French aristocrat.

      This time of year is a great time to both set and review goals. Goals are not the same as resolutions. New Year’s resolutions seem to be putting off action to start when it seems it will be convenient. A year though, or a month, or a week can be a convenient time to set a time frame for a goal.

      It is important to set goals to improve yourself in your physical health, your relational health and your spiritual health. Evaluate your circumstances and make a goal to improve each of them.

      Moleskin

      It didn’t rain a single drop during the workout. Were there seven idiots sitting in the rain for coffeeteria, though? Absolutely.

      Before the beatdown, Woodrider observed the setting up of the apparatus the PAX would crawl under for the army crawls and mused on the time to commute to Legacy.

      There was mumble chatter during SSH, this is to be expected.
      There was silence when YHC announced hand release merkins to follow up.
      There was grumble chatter when Flutter Kicks were announced next. Grumble chatter still ensues.

      A few of the PAX really nailed some of these new modes of transportation. For example, Man Bun can army crawl faster than YHC can jog (not a high bar, but he cleared it easily).

      YHC announced that the “Dying Seal” could be named by the PAX who best completed the exercise. 9-Volt won hands down. While he may not have been the fastest, definitely the most fun to watch.

      At some point during a boiler maker Woodrider was apparently inserted into Man Bun’s “V”.

      All the PAX who participated today were Winners.

      A few definitions for the uncouth:

      Boiler Makers – PAX form a single file line and assume a plank position. Rear most PAX Bear Crawls to the front, repeating in the style of indigenous persons ambulating quickly.

      Maker Boilers – The same as a Boiler Maker, however the front most PAX Crawl Bears to the rear of the line.

      Dying Seal – This name is not set in stone, but the workout will be repeated… many times. PAX lays perpendicular to their planned route of travel. Legs and Head held from the ground as though preparing to do crunches. PAX rocks forward from shoulders to hips while rocking shoulders side to side in order to propel themselves. No part of the PAX other than their back should touch the ground. Words really cannot describe. Please see 9-Volt for a demonstration.

      Shrimp – PAX lays flat on their back with the right foot planted beside their left knee, pushing with the right foot the PAX propels themselves on to their left side moving backwards. Alternating between legs, this makes for a slow, but ineffective mode of transportation.

      News

      Convergence 1/1/2022 at Anvil at 0700.

      12 Mile Ruck starting at Hacksaw at 0530 12/31/2021

      Posted on

      Not Leg Day

      QIC:  M.I.A.

      Date: 12/03/2021

      PAX: Mr. Clean, Picabo, Squirt, Too Tall, Transplant

      AO: Lion’s Den

      Conditions

      A very comfortable 45ish degrees. To be honest YHC wishes it were colder so he didn’t take off his beanie.

      COP

      Some moseying, some blocks grabbed, some SSH, some stretches. YHC takes requests apparently.

      The Thang

      Webbicides – Part 1

      Run 10 yards, 1 burpee, return, 4 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 20 yards, 2 burpees, return, 8 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 30 yards, 3 burpees, return, 12 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 40 yards, 4 burpees, return, 16 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 50 yards, 5 burpees, return, 20 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 60 yards, 6 burpees, return, 24 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 70 yards, 7 burpees, return, 28 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 80 yards, 8 burpees, return, 32 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 90 yards, 9 burpees, return, 36 OH Press w/ coupon
      Run 100 yards, 10 burpees, return, 40 OH Press w/ coupon

      Webbicides – Part B
      Same pattern as above with 1 x Merkin to 4 x Curls for the Girls

      Webbicides – Part iii
      Same pattern as above with 1 x Big Boy Sit-up to 4 x Flutter Kicks (4 count)
      PAX completed roughly 1/2 of Part iii before time.

      TIME

      COT

      Discussed the reasons for advent focusing particularly on the importance of preparing a way and hope. If you want more info on the COT you should have been at Lion’s Den… or read this.

      Moleskin

      Picabo sandbagged us on the burpees but he went beast mode on the OH presses.

      Apparently, (supposedly) Mr. Clean complained about shoulder soreness while in the midst of complaining about the pre workout stretching. Workout assisted the soreness.

      YHC needs to learn how to tell time. And to not himself in the head with a coupon while doing OH presses.

      On an unrelated note, some head injuries make large quantities of OH presses more endurable.

      News

      Chubby’s every Monday, except first Monday of the month, check 3rd-f channel for schedule and sign up to serve. Items needed: pants, coats/jackets/sweaters, belts, rain gear, industrial garbage bags, batteries; smaller clothes preferred but not required; drop off donations at any AO and/or to any AOQ.

      WuzntMe has put together 4th F Weekend to celebrate fatherhood and bond with our 2.0s at what is shaping up to be an excellent event, May 19-21 – check the 4th-f-weekend channel for details and to HC. Registration form HERE

      Prayers for Captain Wafer & family.

      Posted on

      The Chad – Legacy Edition

      QIC:  M.I.A.

      Date: 11/11/2021

      PAX: AOL, Blackout, Blair Witch, Gilligan, John Doe, Mayhem, Mr. Burns, Radar, Rollback, Sojourner, Sousa, Spirit Fingers, Spooner, Stork, The Count, Toto, Uncle Joe

      AO: Legacy

      Conditions

      High 40s with minimal wind chill. We were warm.

      COP

      Disclaimer was claimed, then we moseyed to picnic tables. There was no COP

      The Thang

      PAX paired up with a partner.

      Each pair completed 100 x Step ups with coupon/weighted vest/ruck.

      Each pair completed 22 World War II Sit-ups.

      Repeat x 10.

      Repeat x 7 + Each pair of PAX complete 300 final step ups.

      COT

      This is a modification of the Hero Workout “The Chad”, which is a memorial workout for Chad Wilkinson, who served 22 years on active duty including years in Navy Special Operations, before he took his own life in 2018.

      A shocking number of veterans take their own lives. Many have heard the statistic that it has been as many as 22 veterans a day. While statistics fluctuate, more than 6,000 veterans have committed suicide every year since 2007. YHC encouraged the PAX to reach out to the veterans in their lives to make sure that they know that they are loved and never alone.

      Last year Veteran’s Day was YHC’s 1st F3 Post. At that time, YHC checked many boxes of how one would describe a sad clown. In the last 365 days, YHC has posted ~270 times, ran more 5k5as than can be counted (without a premium Strava subscription), lost 75 pounds, dropped a one mile run from an 11 minute event to just over 7 minutes, and has reduced his waistline from 46 to a 38. As good as that all feels to have accomplished, it doesn’t measure the improvement in his life.

      “An unfit man is unfit to lead.” Today, largely due to the brotherhood of F3 this PAX is a better husband, father, brother, leader, and man than before.

      Moleskin

      F3 Chattanooga has some smart PAX – YHC thinks most of them caught on the the pattern by the time we reached the 4 set of step-ups.

      “Are these regulation height steps?”

      “Who would have thought that 2 inches more would make this much difference.” Radar

      “Who has an empty rucksack?” Sousa

      News

      Thanksgiving Convergence; See Convergence-CSAUP for more details on the festivities for that morning.

      Happy Veterans Day to those who have served our country.

      Posted on

      Disappointment Abounds

      QIC:  M.I.A.

      Date: 11/05/2021

      PAX:  Abercrombie, AOL, El Chapo, Escobar, FNG-Fortnite, Full Moon, FNG-Hillshire, Landmine, Mandela, Mr. Burns, Oui Oui, Picabo, FNG-Pit Bike, Ramrod, Rollback, SeaGull, Spirit Fingers, Sousa, Stork, Top’Em, Uncle Joe, WeBlow, WuzntMe

      AO:  Hacksaw

      Conditions

      Those expected the temps in the 30’s as forecasted were disappointed. YHC and everyone around him found this to be the least disappointing part of the beatdown.

      COP

      Rifle Carry to the flag pole.

      30(ish?) SSH
      LBAC & Reverse x 13
      Stretch out those shoulders…

      The Thang

      All exercises completed together. Holding the coupon above your head until the 6 is in:

      5 x Blockees
      10 x Curls
      15 x Overhead Press
      20 x Around the World (Imagine the coupon is a satellite and your head is the planet)

      5 x Around the World
      10 x Blockees*
      15 x Curls
      20 x Overhead Press

      5 x Overhead Press
      10 x Around the World
      15 x Blockees
      20 x Curls

      5 x Curls
      10 x Overhead Press
      15 x Around the World
      20 x Blockees

      5 x Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes
      10 x Louganis
      15 x Triceps Extension
      20 x Weighted Flutter Kicks

      5 x Weighted Flutter Kicks
      10 x HSK&T
      15 x Louganis
      20 x Triceps Extensions

      5 x Triceps Extensions
      10 x Flutter Kicks
      15 x HSK&T
      20 x Louganis

      Time – Disappointed ensued because we didn’t finish.

      COT

      YHC feels that men don’t hear/share their appreciation and love for each other enough. Inspired by a F3 Podcast from many moons ago, YHC mused on the importance of letting other men know they are loved.

      Moleskin

      * This was the moment that almost all the PAX groaned and shared their disappointment (loudly) with YHC.

      • AOL picked up three dudes pre-workout. They may have been of age… they may not.
      • Upon completion of the Side Straddle Hops YHC noted that this was the completion of the leg exercises for the day…. Mandela squealed with glee.
      • Escobar “WHOA!!! That is the biggest 6 inches I have ever seen”
      • Picabo and WuzntMe accused YHC of being a sadist, but they did it with a Cheshire grin
      • Sousa admitted to breaking YHC’s coupon maliciously
      • Sousa also admitted he would have posted elsewhere (the fartsack) if he saw the post regarding the switcheroo at Q
      • Sewer gases leaked from somewhere/someone during workout.

      News

      6 AM at Hill City – Thanksgiving Day convergence, followed by the Grateful Gobbler 5K. Wear your F3 attire, EH your fellow runners. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2021-grateful-gobbler-5k-registration-162832772205?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

      Posted on

      Run Zombie Run

      QIC:  M.I.A.

      Date: 10/26/2021

      PAX: AOL, Choo Choo, Face Plant, Jaws, Mandela, Nutbuster, Peetuhson, Pocket Taco, See Through, Tatonka, Toe Tag

      AO: Parliament

      Conditions

      52 degrees & Windy. Didn’t stop the tank top.

      Disclaimer and we were off to show the PAX the boundaries for todays workout.

      The Thang – Zombie Run

      Two Zombies were identified, they each ran a lap around the track, then had to devour (tag) the remaining PAX. Devoured PAX become zombies. This continued until all PAX were zombies.

      When the cars pulling into the school became an additional obstacle to dodge, PAX did Frankenstein walk on track followed by 4 MoM.

      COT

      YHC wanted to talk about contentment, so he did. It’s easier today to think about the things we want, and the things others have than it is to look at the things you have or your circumstances with wonder. Recent events have given YHC a glimpse of how great life really is. Even in challenging circumstances, we should find joy where we are.

      Moleskin

      “This must be what its like to be the injured gazelle.” Tatonka

      “My ankle hurt, but at the prospect of getting eaten by a zombie it suddenly felt much better.” also Tatonka

      “M.I.A. found contentment with his workouts, so he just started copying other peoples. Really original.” probably Tatonka

      Toe Tag’s Strava looked like his Apple Watch got swallowed by a dog:

      Mandela was prey for the first time in his life. And last.

      Special thanks to Mansiere, who thought this up, and lent it (with or without consent… it doesn’t matter) to his flatland brethren.

      News

      Chubbie’s on Monday night starting about 5:30. Always looking for volunteers.

      Thanksgiving convergence will be at Coolidge Park at 6AM. Pax are encouraged to register for the Grateful Gobbler 5K benefitting the Maclellan Shelter for Families that will follow the convergence.

      Posted on

      Hump Day Heartbreak

      QIC:  M.I.A.

      Date: 09/22/2021

      PAX: Blair Witch, Cooter, Full Moon, Mayhem, Night Fever, Pipeline, Spirit Fingers, Toe Jelly, Top’Em, Uncle Joe, WeBlow, WuzntMe

      AO: Hacksaw

      Conditions

      Nice

      COP

      Standard Fare

      The Thang

      PAX indigenous people run to the hill increased gravity zone.

      Burp Back Mountain

      Pair up; partner 1 Bernie up hill increased gravity zone – mosey to start, partner 2 does burpees
      Switch
      Repeat until each group completed 202 burpees.

      PAX indigenous people run from the hill increased gravity zone to the shovel flag.

      Time

      COT

      Be a man of your word. YCH is sure he used many more words discussing the importance of this, but the summation should suffice.

      Moleskin

      Mostly grumbles and numbers being muttered. A few death threats. No takers from the PAX when YHC offered to clowncar up to Smackdown tomorrow.

      News

      Chubby’s on Mondays ongoing

      Quarterly Habitat Project Ongoing