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Ch-Ch-Cha Changes

QIC:  Prosciutto

Date: 03/20/2021

PAX: A-A-Ron, Blue, Gusher, Hambone, Joanna Gainz All Day Ery Day Ery Day, Mansiere, Zima

AO: Convoy

Conditions

Air Quality 32. It’s the lowest it’s been in a rolling 7-day span; this according to the Breezometer source. The biggest air quality offender? O3. Mansiere shared that O3 is ozone. He’s way smarter than me and I believe him. And anyone who’s anyone knows that global warming is a real thing and Ozone is a big jerk on the jerk scale. The Pollen index is also low, 0 of 5, down from 2/5 from a couple days ago; Juniper pollen is the criminal this time of year which is weird. Junipers just sorta lay there and creep. Such a quiet creep, that Juniper. Gin is made with juniper berries – so it is not entirely a failure. Also of note, Gin is simply a gender confused form of vodka; as vodka is the base of gin. Gin just has “highlights” and “accessories” which vodka does without. The most toxic masculine Gin name has got to be Beefeater, right? I mean, c’mon we all sorta know whats going on here.

Disclaimer was low quality – let’s go with a level 32 because I lack creativity (total possible 100). It was weak. I’ve not been approached for lawsuits, so I likely said enough. Also as an aside (this has got to be an ongoing record), but we’ve had probably *6500 workouts consecutive where no one has died. That’s a record, definitely; probably.

Pre-playlist featured a newer (more adult) Britney Spears tune with cuss words and some latin rap song my kids love because of trolls 2. let’s go.

*innacurate

COP

Forward Folds, Will Hayes, SSH, Mtn Climbers, Plank Jacks, High Knees, Wide High Knees, Planks

The Thang

I shared at the start that running would be central to the effort today. So after the warmup we did just that.
Merkin Mile & EMO2M 4x4s
As the emboldened title states, we ran a mile. At each quarter mile 25 merkins. The timer went off every two minutes during this mile – which meant we did a 4×4. Blue cheered when he heard we were doing 4x4s. Animal.

Rock Pile Circle

We “found” rocks. Did rock curls and triceps extensions. While fun on their own, made even more fun while doing them to Sam Cooke singing to us. Legendary. He’s not a gin man, you can just tell.

And this is probably better news for the Moleskin, but the bird that nested nearby the rock pile was pissed as hell (at me). For those who don’t know, Signal Mountain is a bird sanctuary for some dumb reason, but probably not so dumb if you explained it to me. Signal Mountain is strange. Like….bird sanctuary? Why? Of all things you can be… we got bird sanctuary. I think they were just looking to boast about having another sign on Taft Hwy. Whatever. Why not just up your pizza game and kick Domino’s off the mountain? More people would like that and you could tout being a ‘Pizza City’. If they ever figure out how to get Rembrandt’s canoli’s up to Pruett’s then “Canoli City” is also within reach. Where were we?

Oh — rocks, and yeah, the Goldilocks reference was made in conjunction with rock selection. Good thing the rocks were already pre-selected so noone had to be rock shamed. Also of note: there were no rock injuries (or deaths).

Continued our run around, heading now toward the track; pit stop along the way for Q to catch breath and merkins

Elevens by 2 | Standard elevens series but two exercises at each end point. End points set at 100m distance

Start/End Point

Start/End point 2

Box Jumps
Makhtar-Shoulder-Tap-Merkins

Dips
Lunges (mountain count)

Return to flag for leg lifting (Front, side and rear single leg lifts)

COT

Change is difficult. Change is not widely accepted or comforting.

83% of people report being unhappy or looking for a change at work; only 12% will actively engage with their manager about a change. People will go to great lengths to keep things the same.

Yet change is all around us. Each day is a new day, the clock resets. It changes.

The season changes. The time changes. It’s part of life. We do not and cannot control everything.

Change is always, change is good, change is uncomfortable and often times change is productive. Embracing change can be difficult.

“Change is the law of life, and those who look only to the past and present are certain to miss the future” -John F. Kennedy

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change” -Albert Einstein

“If I’d asked my customers what they wanted, they’d have said ‘Don’t change anything.’” -Henry Ford

I find solace in change through scripture and faith. Jeremiah 29: 11-13 & Isaiah 41:10

Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Mewhen you search for Me with all your heart.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I find comfort in knowing I am Not in control but I am content and joyful when I remember the one who knows and loves me the most is in control.

Moleskin

  • Mansiere is beginning to convince me that Rocky 4 never happened
  • Blue wore a 20 lb plate and made us all look like (The Count’s words, not mine; The Count’s) “big pussies”; again, not my words
  • Still not sure if Zima is bought and sold at convenience stores any longer, but our Zima is always available in the gloom
  • Ground nesting birds will rain hellfire on and about your head and make you regret life decisions if you disturb their nesting area; ask me how i know because I’m a bird sanctuary inhabitant and I know where the sign is
  • We never did find the boogie man despite many calls for him (her? they?) from the deep dark forest, but what boogie man (person? thing? they? human?) would approach a group of men in the dark blaring David Bowie? Don’t underestimate they/their intelligence.
  • Makhtar-Shoulder-Tap-Merkins don’t exist in the lexicon yet. Leave it to the creatives to give it a proper name but these things suck. Oh, I know, ‘Second Worst Merkins Ever’. “Yeah,” she said, “that’ll stick.”
  • Stonehenge was formed from F3. **browse internet**, copy/paste that. Profit – you’re welcome

News

Coker family still in our thoughts, Joanna makin dem gainz all day ery day most days nah ery day and family

Recent Backblasts

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    Mind Games

    QIC:  Prosciutto

    Date: 02/23/2021

    PAX: A-A-Ron, Friday, Gusher, Hambone, Holy Kiss, Joanna (Makn Dem Gainz Makn It Rayn ErryDayAllday AllGasNoBrakes LaserShow), Mansiere, Pomade, Pound Dog, Recycle, Red Raider, Shank, The Count, Truck Stop, Zima

    AO: Smackdown

    Conditions

    For what it’s worth, the Q’s wardrobe selection was not calibrated with the degrees on Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit’s temperature scale this morning. Short pants in sub-40 (by the measurement) is perplexing with regard to ‘The Steve’. While I could chalk it up to oversight or to knowing the thing that the rest of the crew didn’t know beforehand: constant movement and activity increases blood flow and we can all speak from experience on what blood flow does for our *ahem* limbs cardiovascular system (forgive the unintended sophomoric reference, Nopeton; we are all there are adults, here)

    And so went the 1“Disclaimer” and pronouncement of events to follow

    1 Disclaimer maybe missed the target, and words like ‘love’ and ‘feelings’ were inserted and therefore it was effective as (spoiler alert!) no one died. Add a notch to the ‘W’ column

    COP

    Word association time!

    Stretching = midwife noises = soft tortilla = absent = silence = golden

    AND WHO LOVES GOLD THINGS?!

    Fwd Fold / WMH / Windmills / Good Mornings / SSH / Mtn Climbers / Plank Jacks
    Warm-up Lap

    The Thang

    Circle-up at each corner and await for six and next instruction
    4 Rounded Corners
    At each rounded corner of our more or less non-standard track, exercises will be performed to a total of 70 reps, broken down incrementally. 20-10-5, 20-10-5 or some variation thereof

    First Rounded Corner: Block Curls (20-10-5, 20-10-5)
    2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints; continue running past first rounded corner and proceeding to the next rounded corner

    Second Rounded Corner: Merkins (5-10-20, 5-10-20)
    2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints to the 3rd rounded corner

    Third Rounded Corner: American Hammers (20-10, 20-10, 5-5)
    2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints to the 4th rounded corner

    Fourth Rounded Corner: Squat Jumps (10-20-5, 10-20-5)
    2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints to the start

    One more lap around making stops at each rounded corner; perform 20 reps per corner and mosey OYO to the next rounded corner
    1: Burpees (20)
    2: Merkins (20)
    3: American Hammers (20)
    4: Squat Jumps (20)

    4 minutes of mary
    Leg Lifts
    BBSU OYO
    Flutter Kicks until time

    COT

    Struggled at times with confidence and losing the mind game. This poem helped me. Don’t let yourself lose the battle in your mind before the battle ever begins.

    If you think you are beaten, you are;
    If you think you dare not, you don’t.

    If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
    It is almost a cinch you won’t.

    If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost;
    For out in this world we find
    Success begins with a person’s will
    It’s all in the state of mind.

    If you think you’re outclassed, you are;

    You’ve got to think high to rise.
    You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
    You can ever win the prize.

    Life’s battles don’t always go
    To the stronger or faster man;

    But sooner or later the person who wins
    Is the one who thinks he can!

    “Thinking” by Walter Wintle

    Moleskin

    Pre-beatdown playlists are just as crucial as the actual beatdown playlist. Don’t lose that opportunity to break out some Color Me Badd or New Kids on the Block. Conjuring images and scenes about 8th grade dance or ‘this was my first cassette tape’ builds bonds faster than the actual boot camp.

    I can’t think of a better soundtrack to rep 20 burpees after 270 reps and suicides than the dulcet tones of Alice in Chains. Fitting for the mood. Recycle is a winner amongst winners in this category of playlist curation.

    Still on the topic of Recycle – he shows up wearing his Prosciutto gold beads. Which then, begs the question, ‘Who do you have to kill to earn those gold beads?’

    How about my guy Gusher interrupting his pre-F3 rounds on the track to help with the block setup? Get the picture, I show up, start blaring NKOTB and Color Me Badd and he still sticks around and then humors me with Gusher trivia; indeed an exceptional HIM.

    If you need a great pizza-making song, let me know. I got you.

    Mansiere’s part of some fine Greek royalty (East Ridge Portofino’s); Who said Meds can’t bake? Love it when the Greek’s feign Italiano.

    News

    Upcoming Q’s; Whittler @ Smackdown Thursday, Blue @ Convoy this Saturday; Several options off-mountain to support your Signal Mountain bros!

    Recent Backblasts

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      Mount of Olives

      QIC:  Prosciutto

      Date: 01/11/2021

      PAX: A-A-Ron, Burrito, Gusher, Hambone, Joanna, Mansiere, Pediasure, Recycle, Snow Patrol

      AO: Convoy

      Conditions

      I’m sure there was a temperature. I’m also certain there was a ‘felt like’ temperature.
      So, in that same vein – it was chilly, but it felt like men were there to make one another better.

      So, two can play THAT game.

      COP

      Note: Look, there was a disclaimer and it maybe went on a little longer than necessary. And maybe I caught a little hell about that from some of my nearby contemporaries. I like to be thorough, what can I say? Suffice to say, 1YHC has yet to be sued for some sort of negligence of property or discernment/judgment. So, there’s that.

      Warm Up; SSH and nothing else mattered

      The Thang

      With the presumably surreptitious warm-up in the rear-view mirror, it was time to get the pax what they had all been longing for…
      Mike Tyson’s with Bear Crawl
      Mike Tyson (MT) to the middle of the parking lot; the open travel lane / space between here and there.

      1 MT rep, bear crawl to the space between/block, 2 MT reps, back to where you started, 3 MT reps; and so on, and so forth.

      Originally scheduled for 11 of those, but not “No”, uhh, “Hell No”; Omaha stop at 7 or 8 or wherever you were. The Pax were glad and invigorated at that point. Lots of back-patting occurred, cheers and ‘attaboys’ were given. For a moment, it was all that I needed to deliver the next level of pain.

      But first… two lengthy sprints. Added anticipation on the “On your Mark.. get Set”…”GGGGGGGGG”… Burrita was disqualified more than once from trying to get a head start.

      25 block curls after the down/back sprints

      Jump Squats with Lunge
      Similar to the above format, except with different exercises. This time, as Spinal Tap would have really enjoyed, “this one goes [sic] to eleven”.

      2 Burrita disqualifying jail breaks and 25 block curls later and that’s a wrap for this nonsense.

      Finished with a parking space sequence. I demonstrated how to properly space yourself with one padded space between you and the next pax member; in adherance to proper Covid-19 Nantan guideline and protocols described in his COT for the Mounties only a few weeks earlier. Were he not in quarantine jail and seen it himself, he would have been proud of the execution. This ain’t your Dad’s – Alannis Moresette definition of ‘Ironic’ – boys.

      First Round:

      > 1 Burpee / Parking Space (20 Spaces); when your line finishes, back to start
      > 2 HR Merkins / Parking space (20 Spaces); when your line finishes, back to start
      > 3 …. wait, time’s up. Maybe next time.

      COT

      MT 24: 1-14
      Jesus is teaching on the mount of olives (be still my heart) and the disciples are asking him when the end of the world will happen, what it’ll look like, what will signal His return and what will end the world.

      He says simply in verse 4 & 5, “don’t let anyone mislead you. For many will come in my name claiming ‘I am the Messiah’, they will deceive many”.

      Jesus goes further and talks of things to come and what to expect (natural disasters, warring nations and crippling famines). He calls them “birth pains” and warns them to expect worse.

      This was a timely message when I read it a couple weeks ago. And it hit hard as I went back and re-read this passage given how last week unfolded (riots, storming capital building in DC, etc.). Now, I can’t predict the future (surprise!), but I don’t think that last week is the only time we will see this kind of calamity. By all accounts, it was very bad. But know that it could have been worse. Remember… “birth pains”.

      And we may be asking, is this what the end looks like? What will signal that end? And it’s this curiosity that may cloud our own perspective. Especially when you’re on the lookout for the next thing. Fixated, even. In this state, we become susceptible to being deceived. Just as folks last week acted upon deceptions of fraudulent activity in politics and created an uprising putting people around them in danger. All for what? Who were they serving?

      In Jesus’ own words, we need to be focused on the root of our faith, and the hope and truth of what that offers. We need NOT look for ‘special signs’ but instead look at what we’ve been shown and taught all along. We need to love and respect our neighbor first. We need to look to our creator and follow His example. The rest will take care of itself.

      Moleskin

      1. Burrita doesn’t have to cheat to be fast, but assuredly he’s faster when he cheats.
      2. There were plenty of conversations happening that I am unable to document to a purposeful extent. One such discussion was around sports movies; ranking best to worst. Burrita led the charge, shouting “it’s Hoosiers and it’s not even a discussion!” However, it was Joanna Gainz who hit the nail on the head when he offered, ‘Baseketball’; with that, and others mentioned 2(Tin Cup, Rocky, Days of Thunder, Ladybugs, Trouble with the Curve, The Love Bug), but all were way distant second’s.
      3. If you come to convoy for the track workouts, you’re missing 90% of the fun that lies in wait. This is a great spot Mounties! Let’s continue to popularize this AO

      News

      Nothing really noteworthy, although upcoming Q’s were discussed.

      1 Knock on wood
      2 All/some of these were made-up and never entered the discussion; it was more serious than represented here. In fact, some people almost died as their words were insufficient in proving their side(s) and the heated discussion quickly turned to blows pre-COT.

      Recent Backblasts

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        Hunnits

        QIC:  Prosciutto

        Date: 12/12/2020

        PAX: Dundee, Gusher, Joanna, John Doe (and Scout!), Jorts, Mansiere, Pound Dog, Recycle, Snow Patrol

        AO: Convoy

        Conditions

        1) AQI was 91 or 19; who knows why? Clouds?
        2) 40-ish degrees
        3) Anticipation of block carrying index was 98; again, why? Because there were blocks present?
        4) Expectation of PAX index was exceeded; more showed than HC’d. That’s great ROI and “value prop”
        5) Disclaimer Index was 0; if a negative value was possible – it would be applied here. YHC needs to spend more time in the legal jargon of things – the fumbling is embarrassing and unnecessary.

        COP

        The usual suspects that you’d…. suspect were there.
        SSHs
        HBs
        WMs
        High Planking
        FFs
        More SSHs
        If there was another warm up exercise, it was ~12 reps as it was the twelfth day of Diciembre (that’s the equivalent of December in some latin-oriented languages)

        The Thang

        Intentionally made more difficult than necessary because YHC knew that YHC would be there and he was owed a real snotwoggler.

        100s
        Pair up with a partner; let’s be clear two men equal a pair. Each round partner pax 1 does reps of three exercises (to the tune of a # of reps / exercises). Once those three exercises are done, then starts the accumulation of reps between you and your partner for the fourth (called) exercise. Partner pax 2 runs a lap around the 400m track, meanwhile.

        Staple exercises; Merkins, Block Curls, Block Shoulder Press

        R1: 25-25-25- Burpees (100 cumulative)
        R2: 20-20-20- Windshield Wipers (100 cumulative)
        R3: 15-15-15- John McCains (100 cumulative)

        That’s it – intentionally monotonous and easy to remember

        COT

        Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.

        I asked Gusher to provide some context for a COT theme of pride and humility. He delivered. I couldn’t replicate what he texted me in reply in the COT, so I tossed it over to him. Why the theme of pride/disgrace/humility? Earlier last week, I acted very prideful in a situation and was shown humility through my lack of awareness. Had I just sat back, let the situation unfold and kept myself in check, the whole thing would have come to pass. The lesson learned through that situation (and Gusher’s tactful delivery of the word) was that the only real shame would be to not recognize the wrong in my actions; in that, being too prideful to own the wrong. But, without pride, there is no humility and thus no wisdom. We must learn from our actions, own up to the wrongfulness and get better through humility and wisdom. Thanks Gush.

        Moleskin

        The twelve days of Christmas technically starts on Christmas; as such, I motion that the “12 days of Christmas” workouts should also have delay until after Christmas. I have done two so far. It’s like eating the sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving before trying the turkey. If it’s not time, it’s not time. Control yourselves. It’s like decorating your house for Christmas after Halloween; now, that’s scary!

        Pie Rankings are difficult, but Chocolate cake in any pie/cake discussion is the default winner. For this discussion to have any traction, the understanding that Chocolate cake reigns supreme is a necessary baseline.

        The elusive Convoy AOQ happened again; we were all so lost. So many questions and question marks!

        John Doe is a beast; shows up for Convoy and leaves to go to Landfill before COT to make it to two beat downs in one day. #King

        The real winner today was Scout who protected us on our laps from the mystical evil Troll under the bleachers like a boss, and such.

        News

        Toys for Tots wraps up 12/14 @ Lions Den (see what I did there?)

        Smackdown/Convoy Holiday Happy Hour at Pruitt’s patio on 12/18

        Recent Backblasts

          Posted on

          *One Thankful Q and 200 Solemn Block Swings

          QIC:  Prosciutto

          Date: 12/01/2020

          PAX: Afterbirth, Bumblebee, Coypu, Friday, Gusher, Hambone, Jenny Craig, Joanna, Mansiere, Natty Light, Recycle, Snow Patrol, Tonka, Whittler

          AO: Smackdown

          Conditions

          28 with light precipitation. That was enough degrees for 15 to appear at Smackdown; many of those were more than 5 minutes early.

          One was multiples of 5 early and his pre-F3 laps around the track appeared to be effortless; so much so; that even several others joined in on that fun.,;..<

          Of the 15 that did show, there was one who was not there. He who shall not be mentioned further. In case you were wondering who he is, here’s a hint; his name does not appear in the PAX line above. Start there and work backwards. Or as Dr. Stephen Covey coined with his phrase, “Begin with the end in mind”.;

          The cloudburst of precipitation is only explained by the snow rituals my children perform when even the slightest flake falls from the heavens. There are some who might suggest that these false rituals are a display of the devil’s hand; I prefer to blame it on their 1/32nd (~3%) genetic makeup of indigenous people. The genetics manifest themselves in interesting forms, don’t they? For example, neither of my children make meatballs nor bedeck themselves with gold jewelry;;; yet they’re 50% Italian AT A MINIMUM!??!! I’m incredulous to this fact.

          For those interested; the rituals (in no particular order);;;.:;:;
          1) Place a silver spoon under the pillow next to the pillow you intend to lay your head
          2) Turn your bedroom apparel ensemble inside out prior to evening retirement
          3) Flush ice cubes down the toilet; how many ice cubes? — my children believe the more you flush the more snow there will be; be careful if you’re home is plumbed with an advanced septic system; henceforth and therefore – Precipitation!!

          COP

          Off the cuff and quickly counted for the exacerbation of bloodflow

          SSH x 20 (speed count at the half) IC
          High Knees x 12ish IC
          Forward Fold to silent count to allow for mind-clearing breathing work
          Hamstring stretch/pull; R/L
          Windmills x 10 IC
          SSH x 10 IC

          Split the group into two lines for an indigenous peoples run (in honour of my offspring and pay our respects to the real ones who came before us)

          The Thang

          On the track, facing the field, the PAX aligned and adhered to distancing guidelines as prescribed by the scientists who know everything about this pandemic yet the most important thing; how to get rid of it entirely. Not bitter; just cold.
          5-10-15-20-10
          Block swings serve as the anchor point of suckitude throughout the entire workout’s revolutions because; as with many things, it’s nice to have some consistency mixed in with change. Block swings; ;do not change.

          5 Block Swings
          5 Called Exercise (CE)
          10 Block Swings
          10 CE
          15 Block Swings
          15 CE
          20 Block Swings
          20 CE
          10 Burpees
          Bear Crawl 15 yards; Lunge 15 yards; Return to Starting point
          That’s one round.

          The called exercises that we got to:
          1) Hand Release Merkins
          2) Goblet Squats
          3) Alpos
          ** Broke up the monotony with another indigenous run. 3 ten-counts and back to it
          4) Curls

          3 MOM
          LBC IC
          Flutter Kicks IC
          Pretzel IC

          COT

          Ecclesiastes 4:10
          “If either of them falls down,
              one can help the other up.
          But pity anyone who falls
              and has no one to help them up.”

          My 6 year anniversary in F3 was this past Saturday. To celebrate? I bowed out of my Q at Convoy. I don’t have any great joke to tell or funny story as to why. The truth is I failed to realize I was on Q until I saw the message on slack stating such; I was unprepared. I reached out to Burrito to inform him of such and he coordinated a fitting alternate; to whom I believe helped me as I fell. This two-man network, summed up the verse above perfectly and provides a clear illustration and embodiment of my experience with F3.

          There’s no mishap or uniqueness here, it is not germane to only this one situation; this system of fellowship and accountability is working exactly as intended. F3 has been a cornerstone of my life for the past several years. It is that for the very reason of what Hambone did for me on Saturday, and will likely do again for another in due time. This is likely because of what has been done on his behalf or FOR him.

          As men continue to F3, they begin to realize that where they may have once come to F3 to better themselves, over time, there’s a seemingly surreptitious shift away from self-improvement and the mission becomes the benificence of others. Real great groupa guys here. I never fear a time when I fall and no one is there to help me up. That will never be a worry again in my lifetime. Here’s to 6 plus 60 more years!

          Moleskin

          200 block swings sounded like a good idea at the time; on second thought?

          Apparently the battle for the Cy-Hawk trophy is a deeper-seated rivalry than some of the more well-known rivalries; e.g. Auburn-Alabama, Red Sox-Yankees, Duke-North Carolina. Were you to mistake an Iowa State fan for an Iowa fan – he may never trust you again – he may never return to F3 – he might try to harm you. Send chocolates and flowers, if only you’re empathetic enough.

          It was quiet this morning; but why? Like the age-old question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop — the world may never know.

          Pre-F3 laps in the winter create fellowship opportunities you didn’t know could happen – and you warm-up. Skip this if you don’t like a win-win.

          2:35am texts are the best kind of preparation for your COT

          Long live 90’s rock playlists and *Ben Folds for his masterful abilities

          News

          #Heritage launch, Toys for Tots, Jenny Craig on Q Thursday

          Recent Backblasts

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            Your policy <> His policy

            QIC:  Prosciutto

            Date: 11/06/2020

            PAX: Backpew, Blindside, Blue, Burrito, Chief, Dundee, Fissure, Friar Tuck, Hasbro, Lookout (Willy Loman), Money Ball, NordicTrack, Recycle, Red Tees, Roomba, The Count

            AO: Lions Den

            Conditions

            The pre-F3 block procession to the startex was a thing of beauty. Well orchestrated and adherence to instruction was executed well. Thankful that F3 Chatt has big-brained PAX who can count and tally items without delay or confusion.

            Red Bank UV Index was 0 but the light in the PAX eyes and hearts was easily a 10.

            Disclaimer and Friar Tuck said lets get on with it, and so it did…

            COP

            Stretching, Cadence, Carrying on about silly things, Chuck Norris jokes, SSH, [Insert Alan Parsons Project with Burrito calling the Bulls announcer intro], WMH, Windmill, Hamstring Stretch, ST merkins, minute plank, [queue Rhythm Is A Dancer] and warm up lap

            The Thang

            19:10 (Legs edition)
            Box Jump / Exercise
            Do total of 19 box jumps up steps and then the called exercise (10 reps each).
            5 exercises called individually and the group Al Gore’d when finished to encourage and wait on the six.

            Since there are ten rows on the visiting team side, one climb to the top and a second climb to the penultimate (Burrito) step equals 19. No reason to re-count that as that’s how math works.
            The 5 movements:
            1) Side Step Squats (yes, with Block); Box Jumps
            2) Block Straddle Hop (just like it sounds w/ block); Box Jumps
            3) Bonnie Blair’s (no block; hard count way); Box Jumps
            4) Monkey Humpers; Box Jumps
            5) Toe Merkins; Box Jumps

            Transition Exercise and Move to Track
            Left arm elevated merkin on block (10)
            Right arm elevated merkin on block (10)
            Hand-Release Merkin (9)

            *5 Burpee Penalty for hands on hips/knees and bi-directional communication; insert shared leadership lesson from Dredd on communication and leading

            19:10 (Arms edition)
            Shrugs / Exercise
            Similar to the above, 19 total shrugs performed and then a called exercise (10 reps each). Alternate shrug and exercise as we move along.
            5 exercises called individually:
            1) Block Swings (w/ block); Shrugs
            2) Man Makers (w/ block); Shrugs
            3) Curls (w/ block); Shrugs
            4) Bent over rows (w/ block); Shrugs
            5) Alpos (w/ block); Shrugs

            Transition Exercise and Move to Steps
            Left arm elevated merkin on block (10)
            Right arm elevated merkin on block (10)
            Hand-Release Merkin (9)

            Repeat 19:10 Legs Edition once more

            3MOM
            American Hammers
            Flutter Kicks
            Pretzel (L/R)

            COT

            Buckle-up for a doozy

            I work for a global company of over 75k employees. There are specific policies in place to keep the peace (? I really have no idea). One such policy is not to discuss religion or spiritual/personal faith and beliefs. **Sigh**

            In May, I was helping a peer/co-worker with on boarding in his first couple weeks. Lots to learn and understand at a big company. Building rapport and in the midst of some conversation, he made mention that he was an atheist (he didn’t know the company policy yet). This was difficult for my ears to hear and harder for my brain to understand. My audible response to him at the time was, “Wow, okay…” in a dismissive sort of way. Anyone who knows me – knows that when I want to know something – I cannot help myself; but, alas…policy.

            At that moment, if I could have, I’d have asked a thousand questions in under a minute. I didn’t and it ate me alive after that.

            Wrestling with that for the last few months, I’ve often considered delicately challenging some of his personal feelings. I haven’t had that moment in recent months… until….

            Just last weekend and this week, he’s been sick with fever/chill/upper respiratory symptoms; so, obviously – he thinks it’s covid. He’s feeling pretty terrible. But, during an all-team meeting (6 or so of us) he was casually sharing his conditions and made a comment with levity, “I think I just need Jesus”. The call went quiet for a few seconds…

            My response, immediately without hesitation and with complete clarity, “Well, that would be a good start…” AHA! My moment!

            In Matthew 10, Jesus is giving instruction to the 12 disciples, and particularly around verse 16 onward, he’s speaking about the types of persecution they will experience as he is sending them out ‘as sheep among wolves’. Then in verse 19 he shares that they will indeed be brought before kings, governors, judges and the like, and offers advisement.

            19 But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20 for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

            Matthew 10: 19-20 NIV

            This verse made me realize that in that moment with my co-worker, offering that truth in such a very clear, distinct and direct way, that was not me alone. I hadn’t even filtered the comment through my brain when I just blurted it out! Indeed, that guidance and encouragement spoken through me was direct from the Holy Spirit. All that personal worry and concern about how to handle it, how should I approach the topic, can I even do that given the policies and such… I’d never say that if I’d had to stop and think to say it first – I would have held back. After all said and done, I’m still employed and the Holy Spirit had it #handled all along.

            I am so thankful for F3. I’m thankful we can share this with one another without overarching policy or some governing body telling what we can and cannot do. Amazingly, order and acceptance are not an issue here. We are able to engage with one another – all of us with differing viewpoints and opinions – without some ruling or guideline telling us how to behave or what topics we cannot discuss, and it is done with ease, respect and love of one another. There’s no second-guessing, there’s no fist fights or donnybrooks popping up in the parking lot after a COT. This is the culture we’ve created in F3, it is the culture we should share and carry throughout our communities.

            Moleskin

            Lots of hemming and hawing about the 2001 Space Odyssey playlist kick-off. Real-talk, though, after the fanfare and awesome celebration at the beginning, the end of the song actually gets kinda weird. Go Gamecocks.

            Burrito and Chuck Norris jokes go together like peas and carrots

            Recycle is in the Army and always has been. Thank you for your service.

            We could have built a house with all the blocks strewn about the track; instead, we strengthened the foundations of men

            News

            Beer Run, Anniversary, Money Ball Convoy Q tomorrow

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              Character.

              QIC:  Prosciutto

              Date: 11/02/2020

              PAX: Abercrombie, Cold Play, Early Bird, John Doe, Lanyard, Limp Lips, Mayhem (Respect), Oil Can, Pebbles, Sidekick, Sunscreen, White Glove

              AO: Beast Ridge

              Conditions

              Disclaimer was accidentally long and drawn out. John Doe helped me to remember the part about modification (of course he did).

              While I’ll never amount to anything more than 2nd-best conditions expert to F3 Chattanooga’s Gusher, I too can be informational with regard to setting the stage for the audience.

              It was 36 degrees by the measurement device, although generally speaking, it “felt like 34”.

              Clear skies, no dew as the dew point was well below where it would be sensible (23) for November 2nd.

              Humidity at 47% which is right in line with what ENT’s would suggest is “perfect” with regard to upper respiratory issues/illnesses. Not too humid, not too dry; just right.

              Wind carrying due south at a 10mph (8.6897 knots; converted) clip.

              The moon phase of a waning gibbous was like a still-lit lamp at midnight giving enough but not overbearing light.

              Sadly, the scales were tipped in favor of the far-sighted with a visibility at 10 miles; us near-sighted homo-sapiens were hindered in the glory of a 10-mile window of clarity without corrective lens.

              An upward barometric pressure of 30.49 in made life on Earth feel remarkably pleasant and pressurized. Thanks to the creator for doing that because otherwise, we’d be dodging hot gas flames and great balls of fire from the solar system. (Quick side disclaim: I actually know the least amount of information about atmospheric pressure than any other thing in this world, so you can count on the things I just said to be only somewhat true, at-best).

              The UV index boasting a 2 of 10 as the light never once crept in. This is good because I didn’t see anyone apply a pre-beatdown sweat-resistant sunblocker. Sunscreen seemed to enjoy the ‘2’ on the scale – but that speaks for itself.

              No FNGs.

              COP

              SSH x 15 IC
              High Knees x 10 IC
              Willy Mays Hays
              Cotton Pi… Third Grade Exercises
              Maybe something else

              The Thang

              Warming up was fine, but we didn’t actually feel warm afterward, so we needed to stretch our legs and actually feel warm. The warm-up needs a better name if you never actually feel warm; oh, “COP” works.
              Merkin Mile with EMOM Burpee Dan’s
              Run a mile, at every 1/4 mile perform 25 Merkins.
              At every 1 minute interval during the run, perform 1 Burpee Dan (1 burpee : 4 lunges – easy way)

              Mosey over to the field concrete steps
              Stadium Step Suicides
              Box Jump a step, return to start and perform an exercise until you’ve box jumped each step incrementally.
              Round 1: Box Jumps / Squats (10)
              Round 2: Box Jumps / Lunges (10) easy-way
              Round 3: Audibled out

              Mosey to swingset / playground
              7’s
              Pull-Ups / BBSUs

              At completion, perform 10-4x4s

              Mosey back to startex
              Jail Break / Bear Crawl / Jail Break

              3MOM

              COT

              Danny Akin wrote, “Christian character is not FORGED in the moment of adversity, it is REVEALED in the moment of adversity”

              I’m grateful to have recently heard Laces Out teach from the book of Daniel, specifically chapter 6 – the teaching of Daniel in the Lion’s Den.

              There are many themes in the story, but one in particular I felt was a great lesson on employing high character and remaining faithful.

              During the story and that period of time – jealousy and envy were rampant for the regional high priests and “administrators” overseeing each of the 120 regions the King broke his empire into. These administrators found Daniel to be in high favor with King Darius through his responsible nature, consistency and faith. Fueled by their jealousy and hatred of Daniel, his enemies and fellow-high priests/administrators trick the king into issuing an edict forbidding worship of any other god or man for a 30-day period as they knew how faithful Daniel was to the God of Israel.

              Despite this, Daniel continues to pray daily (3x / day) and is cited for disobeying the law and must then be tossed into the den of lions.

              As the story goes on, Daniel is saved by his faith, despite every effort of his contemporaries to force judgement upon him.

              The men (and their King) were of very low moral standing and character. They showed inconsistency in their behavior, served themselves instead of others and then presented incredulous and unacceptable behavior on account of their jealousy. These are not qualities of high-character [Christian] people. These poor qualities are created and then revealed in difficult times.

              Despite the circumstances, conversely, Daniel continued to do what he felt and knew was right. He did not change who he was, he held steadfast in his faith and continued to pray through uncertainty of the times and the situation in the den of lions as he had always done. A great example of his character and how it was second-nature for him to turn to God for guidance and help. This was not a coincidence, but rather character being revealed during the course of events that had been hardened and tested and solidified long before.

              Moleskin

              Ask John Doe what a bottle of Bed Head looks like. It might surprise you that he knows, but moreso why he knows.

              Beast Ridge was tied for fourth1 AO in the region. There – we’ve set the record straight. I think

              Sidekick’s progressive left-natured awareness allowed us all to move on from cotton pickers. It happened at Beast Ridge.

              When I make a movie, Oil Can is going to narrate it – Aussie accents are awesome.

              1 Dreadmill, Landfill, Hill City, Beast Ridge/The Griff (RIP)…

              News

              Networking event upcoming, Beer Run upcoming, F3 Chattanooga 4 year anniversary upcoming. Stay tuned for all!

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                Greatness lies just beyond the next rep

                QIC:  Prosciutto

                Date: 09/22/2020

                PAX: Burrito, Dolly, Fissure, Hambone, Jazzy Jag, Lanyard, Lockjaw, Pebbles, Purple Rain, Recycle, Sidekick, Sunscreen, Swingset, Threeskin, White Glove

                AO: RidgeCut

                Conditions

                59 degrees when I left the mountain. Slightly at or above dew point as the grass was misty. There may have been a lack of deodorant application amongst the participants as well. Caught a waft of something funky like an old batch of skunk.

                Pre-beatdown convo with Purple Rain included sensible automotive choices and the only downfall of owning an early 2000s model Honda Accord; they simply don’t quit. The 2003 and 2004 ‘Desert Dust’ colored twins gazed upon field with excitement of what was upcoming.

                COP

                Up straddle hop x 10 IC Left
                Up straddle hop x 10 IC Right
                SSH x 10 IC
                IW x 10 IC
                ST Squat x 10 IC
                BBSU x 10 OYO
                Leg Lifts x 10 OYO
                Fwd Fold x who knows

                The Thang

                line up, 10 Burpees, sprint across field
                line up, 9 Bs, sprint across field
                line up, 8 Bs, sprint across field
                line up, 7 Mike Tysons, sprint across field
                line up, 6 MT’s, sprint
                line up, 5 MT’s, sprint
                line up, 4 Worst Merkin Ever’s, sprint
                line up, 3 WME’s, sprint
                line up, 2 WME’s, sprint
                line up, 1 WME / 1 MT / 10 Bs, sprint

                Circle up
                10 bonnie blair, 10 lunges hard way, 10 jungle boi squats, 10 monkey humpers
                Sprint

                Two-line indigenous peoples bear crawl sprints with merkin intervals (2 rounds)

                Two-lines reformed – back to start. All pax in line plank, pax in very back frog hop / jump over planking pax to the very front (2 rounds)

                COT

                College football returning means social media accounts for the schools/teams are really starting to churn out great content. There’s no better social media presence than the University of South Carolina. It’s a fact. The media department won the award last year for best team media dept; they may have won it back to back. And while that may be the only accolade we can claim over the last few seasons, it’s well deserved – and to that end – should be celebrated.

                I drew inspiration from the clip they put out this week in advance of their first game against the Tennessee Vols. Great message and very inspiring.

                The message was pretty simple. If you intend on being ‘Great’, you need to set your mind right to achieve that from the start. You need to set a standard for yourself to meet and exceed the bar that you’ve set. You don’t just wake up one day and be ‘Great’. There isn’t an accidental happenstance where you land on ‘Great’ without putting in hard work. You’re believing a lie if you think that’s how it works.

                You work. And work. And work…And work more. Tirelessly, until you can’t anymore. You out work everyone else and yourself. Every set. Every rep. Every time you set out to do that one thing, you do it to your absolute best, attempting to do it better than the last time. In doing so, incrementally, you’ll achieve the greatness that lies just beyond the effort that you’ve put forth collectively.

                I designed this workout with the that very theme in mind. We repeated the same or similar effort over and over again. Everyone had an opportunity to do each rep better than the last (or faster). The one who pushes himself each time, each rep, gets incrementally better. The last time being just as good or better than the first. That progress, that standard – that’s the path to greatness.

                Moleskin

                This was a real group of natural alphas this morning. I looked around and saw a ton of guys who lead. All walks of life. Business owners, business leaders, sales leaders, F3 leaders, family men. It was fun to see them. It’s even more special to know I am part of this with them.

                But, I have to say it was a real blast. I was really grateful to see the guys just continue to pile out of their cars or show up running in with the flag. At one point, I offered for the group to split up and have someone else lead half the group to keep within social distancing guidelines. Based on the response from the group, my understanding is that they were never going to live with themselves if they didn’t get their chance in the ring with Prosciutto and his gold chain. All agreed to stay together. All for one! One for All! Goonie’s never say die!

                I had music and it was working until it didn’t. Let this be a lesson, friends… if you don’t charge your music device, it won’t work as you expect. Class dismissed. Thanks Threeskin for the assist (he doesn’t read these; sorry not sorry)!

                Sidekick’s blow-off valve is awesome. You should ask him about it. You should ask to touch it. It’s not weird.

                Burrito’s timing inciting quotes from “Community” the show, are impeccable. The king of mumble chatter and my dear friend.

                The three amigos are real and are in your city. Who knows where they’ll show up next, but when they do it’s a riot.

                News

                Pruett’s Happy Hour; Mark your calendars

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                  Papa was a rollin stone…

                  QIC:  Prosciutto

                  Date: 09/21/2020

                  PAX: Blindside, Glee, Friar Tuck, Moneyball, Mr. Met, The Count, Xena

                  AO: Lions Den

                  Conditions

                  Clammy, Dry and Brighter than the surface of the sun.

                  COP

                  Warm up / Stretching, WMH, Forward Fold for what felt like an eternity, Slow tempo merkins, shoulder taps, slow tempo squats

                  The Thang

                  Need to celebrate this hill. It’s perfect for a step-count
                  Hills
                  – 9’s to the 2nd pole (Jungle Boi Squats / Burpees)
                  1 – 40 yard sprint
                  – 7’s to the 3rd pole (Block KB Swings / Alpo’s) — Rifle / Shoulder Carry block to end point
                  2 – 40 yard sprint
                  – 6’s to the 4th pole (Squats / Curls w/ Block)
                  2 – 40 yard sprint

                  Mary

                  Boat / Canoe x 7 (?)
                  Flutter Kicks x 17 IC

                  COT

                  In Matthew 4, the bible speaks about Satan’s temptation of Jesus. In reading through the verses and reflecting upon the text, a question came to mind. Why is temptation always assumed as a bad thing? It kind of always is. Or is it?

                  Matthew’s account of the three separate instances of Jesus’ temptation thwarting, demonstrates a perfect example of how to handle bad temptation. It shows how/when Satan will tempt. He targets Jesus when he was in the wilderness on a 40 day – 40 night outdoor CSAUP (Completely Spiritual and Unequivocally Pivotal) event involving the wilderness, prayer, lack of reparations and all sorts of wild cray cray and zero beers. An opportune time to get a guy when he’s down and out to say ‘Uncle’. Not this guy. Not Jesus, even though he was physically worn out from lack of sustenance, sun beaten and worn thin from his travels in those beat up rainbows he was sporting. You see, Jesus’ demonstration of God’s will proved that he not only understood the scripture/teachings, he also obeyed it. Two things; The Head and the Heart.

                  Satan tempted him to turn stones to loaves of bread (Papa was a rollin stone); He dared him to jump from the highest point of Jerusalem on another attempt (aint too proud to beg); finally, thirdly, he tried the ol’ Mufasa and Simba approach – ‘you can have everything the light touches’ talk from on-high – if only he just would serve Satan. All of which Jesus was like, ‘nah bro.’ “you must worship the Lord and only serve Him. Get outta here Satan.” That was it. His mind, his heart and his actions all served one purpose in total alignment. Glorify God in everything, no matter what. The End.

                  For us, it’s not a matter of if, but when you’ll be tempted. When you’re low. When you’re tired and beat. When things aren’t well. How will you respond?

                  Now, my question about a time when Temptation can be good? Gusher tells me the Greek word for “temptation” is the same word that is used for “testing”. I don’t know why I trust him; he’s not very Greek looking, he doesn’t own a restaurant, he’s never invited me to a Greek festival and he has ZERO Gold jewelry anywhere, but maybe he knows, or maybe he’s just helping my story along….

                  So, interestingly, the back half of the chapter describes two separate instances where Jesus is able to coerce four men (in total) to join him. Pick up their fishing nets, leave everything behind and walk with him. This was their livelihoods. This was their life. They’d known no different. In one instance, James and John left their old and tattered fishing nets, their boat AND their own FATHER! Just to give into this “temptation” – nay, this “test” of their faith – from a man who they didn’t know, selling a promise which was anyone’s guess. We’re led to believe these fishermen were believers, so it’s likely they had made quick assessment. They believed in their heart that a time like this was possible. They believed they’d be tested at some point, and, if the opportunity came to share what they knew about the good news and Kingdom of God, they’d take it! Even leave their old man to float off into the sunset with a bunch of old worn out fishing nets, couple packs of hot hands packets in the tackle box, some half-day old bojangle’s biscuits left out in the sun and a few warm beers rattling around in the hull. A test meant an opportunity they would give anything to do. It meant it was time to feed their hunger to fish for men, for all others, rather than for self.

                  So, again, outside of the once famous 60’s Motown band, are there good temptations? Or just tests? How will you fare in your test? Are you seeking or looking forward to that test? Get ready, cause it’s coming.

                  Moleskin

                  This was the largest collection of 20 year olds I’ve been around in quite some time, and I am both envious and happy that they’ve found themselves and F3 at such a young ripe age. I remember my 20’s, but not well.

                  Red Bank Middle school lights are like a 24-hour Krispy Kreme. It’s like being the halftime super bowl show. Everything around us pitch black, but that parking lot was like being in the show, fah real doe. Took me back to a time when I was a legend in my own mind.

                  News

                  We need some news so that we can talk about the news.

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                    Happy Birthday, Smackdown. Welcome Recycle!

                    QIC:  Whittler, Prosciutto, Recycle

                    Date: 09/10/2020

                    PAX: Ashley Madison, Burrito, Coypu, Gusher, Hambone, Holy Kiss, Joanna, Laces Out, Old School, Pediasure, Pomade, Pound Dog, Prosciutto, Red Raider, Truck Stop, Whittler

                    AO: Smackdown

                    Conditions

                    And here’s Gusher for the report…

                    **Looks at Gusher who is obviously assessing the conditions…

                    COP

                    Whittler: Mosey around athletic club from the back just the way Whittler loves it.

                    SSH x 25
                    Imperial Walkers x 15
                    Arm Circles x 15
                    Ray Lewis x 15
                    SSH x 25

                    Mosey to front of athletic club in full view of the cardio crew through the windows
                    Monkey Humpers x 15
                    3rd Graders x 15

                    Mosey back to track
                    Box jump suicides x 3 rounds

                    Mosey

                    The Thang


                    Hand off to Prosciutto
                    1 minute high knees
                    1 minute mountain climber
                    1 minute high plank

                    Split the group in two by threve’s (3 and 5); two single file lines standing in endzone and looking down the field
                    Bear Crawl Merkin Indigenous Peoples Format
                    Pax at the back of line bear crawl sprints to front of line while all other pax hold plank

                    When bear crawl man reaches front of line, he calls ‘Down’ for the whole line to perform a single (proper) merkin

                    1 Round of this

                    Circle Burp & SSH

                    Everyone starts by SSH’ing. Every pax gets a chance to call ‘Down’. When we reach end of line

                    1 more round of the Bear Crawl Merkin Indigenous Peoples Format

                    Hand off to Recycle

                    Burpee EMOM Dora

                    PAX pair up in groups of three in pairs.

                    When EMOM timer starts, one PAX counts reps, second PAX completes as many burpees as he can in one minute. Swap when timer goes off.

                    200 Big Boi Situps
                    400 American Hammers single count
                    400 Flutter Kicks single count

                    TIME

                    COT

                    On this day last year, Smackdown was launched and a new standard was set across Chattanooga and all the lands; a beautiful scene overlooking the valleys and rivers.

                    It was then, as it was today, a superb morning filled with cool mountainous air, fresh dew landscape and a willing group of able-bodied gentlemen to assume the challenge of starting anew as had been done previously (albeit, at lower altitudes).

                    Questions abound, will the thin air make us weak? Will it help?

                    Are we men on high? or high on men?

                    With the expensive homes within earshot, are people up here really interested in “free”?

                    Can we justify adding a second day right in middle of iron pax?

                    We had 3 FNGs that day, will they return?

                    Fast forward one year later, so much has happened. So much growth. So so so much growth. A Saturday added, a pandemic resurgence. Men responded in ways unimaginable.

                    One man set himself apart from the rest, accepted his next challenge and calling. He stepped up and began to make it his own, without being formally asked. He was the clear choice without having been chosen.                     He made himself the only choice. High impact men are expected to act in this way.

                    I say all that to say this – it is with great pleasure and excitement that Whittler and I step aside and hand-off the Smackdown AOQ to Recycle (Gray Ramsey) and look forward to where it goes from here!

                    Moleskin

                    • Even in his absence, Naked Gun heaves were imitated and honored numerous times; by the one guy that you would expect to imitate them. You’ve made a mark on all of us. Thank you.
                    • If your q instructions go further than a sentence or two, Pax begin to grumble and lose focus… Burrito will taunt you mercilessly.
                    • The indigenous people bear crawl will make men ornery; worth it every time.

                    News

                    9/14 #Convoy kickoff Monday – 0530 at Signal Mountain High School

                    9/15 Pound Dog Rest Day™ at #smackdown

                    9/17 IronPAX Week 3 at #smackdown

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