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Mind Games

QIC:  Prosciutto

Date: 02/23/2021

PAX: A-A-Ron, Friday, Gusher, Hambone, Holy Kiss, Joanna (Makn Dem Gainz Makn It Rayn ErryDayAllday AllGasNoBrakes LaserShow), Mansiere, Pomade, Pound Dog, Recycle, Red Raider, Shank, The Count, Truck Stop, Zima

AO: Smackdown

Conditions

For what it’s worth, the Q’s wardrobe selection was not calibrated with the degrees on Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit’s temperature scale this morning. Short pants in sub-40 (by the measurement) is perplexing with regard to ‘The Steve’. While I could chalk it up to oversight or to knowing the thing that the rest of the crew didn’t know beforehand: constant movement and activity increases blood flow and we can all speak from experience on what blood flow does for our *ahem* limbs cardiovascular system (forgive the unintended sophomoric reference, Nopeton; we are all there are adults, here)

And so went the 1“Disclaimer” and pronouncement of events to follow

1 Disclaimer maybe missed the target, and words like ‘love’ and ‘feelings’ were inserted and therefore it was effective as (spoiler alert!) no one died. Add a notch to the ‘W’ column

COP

Word association time!

Stretching = midwife noises = soft tortilla = absent = silence = golden

AND WHO LOVES GOLD THINGS?!

Fwd Fold / WMH / Windmills / Good Mornings / SSH / Mtn Climbers / Plank Jacks
Warm-up Lap

The Thang

Circle-up at each corner and await for six and next instruction
4 Rounded Corners
At each rounded corner of our more or less non-standard track, exercises will be performed to a total of 70 reps, broken down incrementally. 20-10-5, 20-10-5 or some variation thereof

First Rounded Corner: Block Curls (20-10-5, 20-10-5)
2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints; continue running past first rounded corner and proceeding to the next rounded corner

Second Rounded Corner: Merkins (5-10-20, 5-10-20)
2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints to the 3rd rounded corner

Third Rounded Corner: American Hammers (20-10, 20-10, 5-5)
2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints to the 4th rounded corner

Fourth Rounded Corner: Squat Jumps (10-20-5, 10-20-5)
2 lines for a Native Lap around, at the 3/4 mark of the lap – line up and 50 yard sprints to the start

One more lap around making stops at each rounded corner; perform 20 reps per corner and mosey OYO to the next rounded corner
1: Burpees (20)
2: Merkins (20)
3: American Hammers (20)
4: Squat Jumps (20)

4 minutes of mary
Leg Lifts
BBSU OYO
Flutter Kicks until time

COT

Struggled at times with confidence and losing the mind game. This poem helped me. Don’t let yourself lose the battle in your mind before the battle ever begins.

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost;
For out in this world we find
Success begins with a person’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;

You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;

But sooner or later the person who wins
Is the one who thinks he can!

“Thinking” by Walter Wintle

Moleskin

Pre-beatdown playlists are just as crucial as the actual beatdown playlist. Don’t lose that opportunity to break out some Color Me Badd or New Kids on the Block. Conjuring images and scenes about 8th grade dance or ‘this was my first cassette tape’ builds bonds faster than the actual boot camp.

I can’t think of a better soundtrack to rep 20 burpees after 270 reps and suicides than the dulcet tones of Alice in Chains. Fitting for the mood. Recycle is a winner amongst winners in this category of playlist curation.

Still on the topic of Recycle – he shows up wearing his Prosciutto gold beads. Which then, begs the question, ‘Who do you have to kill to earn those gold beads?’

How about my guy Gusher interrupting his pre-F3 rounds on the track to help with the block setup? Get the picture, I show up, start blaring NKOTB and Color Me Badd and he still sticks around and then humors me with Gusher trivia; indeed an exceptional HIM.

If you need a great pizza-making song, let me know. I got you.

Mansiere’s part of some fine Greek royalty (East Ridge Portofino’s); Who said Meds can’t bake? Love it when the Greek’s feign Italiano.

News

Upcoming Q’s; Whittler @ Smackdown Thursday, Blue @ Convoy this Saturday; Several options off-mountain to support your Signal Mountain bros!

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    Myths and Legends

    QIC:  threeskin

    Date: 01/01/2021

    PAX: Sunburn, Sports bra, Moneyball, Carebear, Dolly, U-turn, Recycle, Joanna, Fissure, Oui oui, Jazzy Jag, Prosciutto, Sniffer, Blackout, Ramrod, Snitch, Mr. Clean, Blue, Slim Shady, Mansiere, Gretel, Clickbait, Seagull, Sousa, Rollback, Mayhem, Picabo, Bob Jones, Clothespin, Mothballs, Tipper, MIA, FNG-Beat It, AOL, Cavity Search, Iron Butt, Nordictrack, Hasbro, Milkman, Pink Panther, Blindside, Skitch, Vsquared, Ducktales, Sunscreen, Free Candy

    AO: Anvil

    Conditions

    Mild and wet, but not soaked…

    COP

    Warmup lap
    Giant socially distanced circle in the middle of the field
    On your belly. On your back. On your feet.
    All reps x 21 in cadence:
    SSH, high knees, low knees, SSH, Imperial walkers, windmills, SSH (final 16 reps silent)
    On your belly. On your back. On your feet.
    Baton passed from Fissure to Threeskin.

    The Thang

    Legend:
    1 – 2 Burpees (Aquaman Style) on side A
    2 – 4 Lunges each leg on side A
    3 – 6 Imperial Walkers on side A
    4 – 8 Merkins on side A
    5 – 10 Plank Jacks on side A
    6 – 12 Squats on side A
    M – run across the field, Hand release merkins, on side B
    P Pickle Pound or Point until six is in then walk back

    Order:
    1 M P
    1 M 2 M P
    1 M 2 M 3 M P
    1 M 2 M 3 M 4 M P
    1 M 2 M 3 M 4 M 5 M P
    1 M 2 M 3 M 4 M 5 M 6 M P

    One lap to catch the Six

    Prosciutto’s gold chain til time.

    COT
    Suggestion: everyone should read Every Good Endeavor by Timothy Keller

    4 myths and reasoning to implement change this year.

    Myth: No room for mistakes – mistakes are proof you are growing

    Myth: You need to know everything – more you know, more you realize you don’t know everything

    Myth: Always look ahead for what may go wrong – Your powers resides in the present 

    Myth: If you give up perfection you lose your edge – you actually make room for growth and opportunity 

    Moleskin

    47 PAX started the year off right.

    Back, belly, feet was a real hit!

    Beat it, no one wants to be defeated… Welcome!

    News

    Check out the 3rd F channel to get plugged in this year.

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      Hunnits

      QIC:  Prosciutto

      Date: 12/12/2020

      PAX: Dundee, Gusher, Joanna, John Doe (and Scout!), Jorts, Mansiere, Pound Dog, Recycle, Snow Patrol

      AO: Convoy

      Conditions

      1) AQI was 91 or 19; who knows why? Clouds?
      2) 40-ish degrees
      3) Anticipation of block carrying index was 98; again, why? Because there were blocks present?
      4) Expectation of PAX index was exceeded; more showed than HC’d. That’s great ROI and “value prop”
      5) Disclaimer Index was 0; if a negative value was possible – it would be applied here. YHC needs to spend more time in the legal jargon of things – the fumbling is embarrassing and unnecessary.

      COP

      The usual suspects that you’d…. suspect were there.
      SSHs
      HBs
      WMs
      High Planking
      FFs
      More SSHs
      If there was another warm up exercise, it was ~12 reps as it was the twelfth day of Diciembre (that’s the equivalent of December in some latin-oriented languages)

      The Thang

      Intentionally made more difficult than necessary because YHC knew that YHC would be there and he was owed a real snotwoggler.

      100s
      Pair up with a partner; let’s be clear two men equal a pair. Each round partner pax 1 does reps of three exercises (to the tune of a # of reps / exercises). Once those three exercises are done, then starts the accumulation of reps between you and your partner for the fourth (called) exercise. Partner pax 2 runs a lap around the 400m track, meanwhile.

      Staple exercises; Merkins, Block Curls, Block Shoulder Press

      R1: 25-25-25- Burpees (100 cumulative)
      R2: 20-20-20- Windshield Wipers (100 cumulative)
      R3: 15-15-15- John McCains (100 cumulative)

      That’s it – intentionally monotonous and easy to remember

      COT

      Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.

      I asked Gusher to provide some context for a COT theme of pride and humility. He delivered. I couldn’t replicate what he texted me in reply in the COT, so I tossed it over to him. Why the theme of pride/disgrace/humility? Earlier last week, I acted very prideful in a situation and was shown humility through my lack of awareness. Had I just sat back, let the situation unfold and kept myself in check, the whole thing would have come to pass. The lesson learned through that situation (and Gusher’s tactful delivery of the word) was that the only real shame would be to not recognize the wrong in my actions; in that, being too prideful to own the wrong. But, without pride, there is no humility and thus no wisdom. We must learn from our actions, own up to the wrongfulness and get better through humility and wisdom. Thanks Gush.

      Moleskin

      The twelve days of Christmas technically starts on Christmas; as such, I motion that the “12 days of Christmas” workouts should also have delay until after Christmas. I have done two so far. It’s like eating the sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving before trying the turkey. If it’s not time, it’s not time. Control yourselves. It’s like decorating your house for Christmas after Halloween; now, that’s scary!

      Pie Rankings are difficult, but Chocolate cake in any pie/cake discussion is the default winner. For this discussion to have any traction, the understanding that Chocolate cake reigns supreme is a necessary baseline.

      The elusive Convoy AOQ happened again; we were all so lost. So many questions and question marks!

      John Doe is a beast; shows up for Convoy and leaves to go to Landfill before COT to make it to two beat downs in one day. #King

      The real winner today was Scout who protected us on our laps from the mystical evil Troll under the bleachers like a boss, and such.

      News

      Toys for Tots wraps up 12/14 @ Lions Den (see what I did there?)

      Smackdown/Convoy Holiday Happy Hour at Pruitt’s patio on 12/18

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        *One Thankful Q and 200 Solemn Block Swings

        QIC:  Prosciutto

        Date: 12/01/2020

        PAX: Afterbirth, Bumblebee, Coypu, Friday, Gusher, Hambone, Jenny Craig, Joanna, Mansiere, Natty Light, Recycle, Snow Patrol, Tonka, Whittler

        AO: Smackdown

        Conditions

        28 with light precipitation. That was enough degrees for 15 to appear at Smackdown; many of those were more than 5 minutes early.

        One was multiples of 5 early and his pre-F3 laps around the track appeared to be effortless; so much so; that even several others joined in on that fun.,;..<

        Of the 15 that did show, there was one who was not there. He who shall not be mentioned further. In case you were wondering who he is, here’s a hint; his name does not appear in the PAX line above. Start there and work backwards. Or as Dr. Stephen Covey coined with his phrase, “Begin with the end in mind”.;

        The cloudburst of precipitation is only explained by the snow rituals my children perform when even the slightest flake falls from the heavens. There are some who might suggest that these false rituals are a display of the devil’s hand; I prefer to blame it on their 1/32nd (~3%) genetic makeup of indigenous people. The genetics manifest themselves in interesting forms, don’t they? For example, neither of my children make meatballs nor bedeck themselves with gold jewelry;;; yet they’re 50% Italian AT A MINIMUM!??!! I’m incredulous to this fact.

        For those interested; the rituals (in no particular order);;;.:;:;
        1) Place a silver spoon under the pillow next to the pillow you intend to lay your head
        2) Turn your bedroom apparel ensemble inside out prior to evening retirement
        3) Flush ice cubes down the toilet; how many ice cubes? — my children believe the more you flush the more snow there will be; be careful if you’re home is plumbed with an advanced septic system; henceforth and therefore – Precipitation!!

        COP

        Off the cuff and quickly counted for the exacerbation of bloodflow

        SSH x 20 (speed count at the half) IC
        High Knees x 12ish IC
        Forward Fold to silent count to allow for mind-clearing breathing work
        Hamstring stretch/pull; R/L
        Windmills x 10 IC
        SSH x 10 IC

        Split the group into two lines for an indigenous peoples run (in honour of my offspring and pay our respects to the real ones who came before us)

        The Thang

        On the track, facing the field, the PAX aligned and adhered to distancing guidelines as prescribed by the scientists who know everything about this pandemic yet the most important thing; how to get rid of it entirely. Not bitter; just cold.
        5-10-15-20-10
        Block swings serve as the anchor point of suckitude throughout the entire workout’s revolutions because; as with many things, it’s nice to have some consistency mixed in with change. Block swings; ;do not change.

        5 Block Swings
        5 Called Exercise (CE)
        10 Block Swings
        10 CE
        15 Block Swings
        15 CE
        20 Block Swings
        20 CE
        10 Burpees
        Bear Crawl 15 yards; Lunge 15 yards; Return to Starting point
        That’s one round.

        The called exercises that we got to:
        1) Hand Release Merkins
        2) Goblet Squats
        3) Alpos
        ** Broke up the monotony with another indigenous run. 3 ten-counts and back to it
        4) Curls

        3 MOM
        LBC IC
        Flutter Kicks IC
        Pretzel IC

        COT

        Ecclesiastes 4:10
        “If either of them falls down,
            one can help the other up.
        But pity anyone who falls
            and has no one to help them up.”

        My 6 year anniversary in F3 was this past Saturday. To celebrate? I bowed out of my Q at Convoy. I don’t have any great joke to tell or funny story as to why. The truth is I failed to realize I was on Q until I saw the message on slack stating such; I was unprepared. I reached out to Burrito to inform him of such and he coordinated a fitting alternate; to whom I believe helped me as I fell. This two-man network, summed up the verse above perfectly and provides a clear illustration and embodiment of my experience with F3.

        There’s no mishap or uniqueness here, it is not germane to only this one situation; this system of fellowship and accountability is working exactly as intended. F3 has been a cornerstone of my life for the past several years. It is that for the very reason of what Hambone did for me on Saturday, and will likely do again for another in due time. This is likely because of what has been done on his behalf or FOR him.

        As men continue to F3, they begin to realize that where they may have once come to F3 to better themselves, over time, there’s a seemingly surreptitious shift away from self-improvement and the mission becomes the benificence of others. Real great groupa guys here. I never fear a time when I fall and no one is there to help me up. That will never be a worry again in my lifetime. Here’s to 6 plus 60 more years!

        Moleskin

        200 block swings sounded like a good idea at the time; on second thought?

        Apparently the battle for the Cy-Hawk trophy is a deeper-seated rivalry than some of the more well-known rivalries; e.g. Auburn-Alabama, Red Sox-Yankees, Duke-North Carolina. Were you to mistake an Iowa State fan for an Iowa fan – he may never trust you again – he may never return to F3 – he might try to harm you. Send chocolates and flowers, if only you’re empathetic enough.

        It was quiet this morning; but why? Like the age-old question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop — the world may never know.

        Pre-F3 laps in the winter create fellowship opportunities you didn’t know could happen – and you warm-up. Skip this if you don’t like a win-win.

        2:35am texts are the best kind of preparation for your COT

        Long live 90’s rock playlists and *Ben Folds for his masterful abilities

        News

        #Heritage launch, Toys for Tots, Jenny Craig on Q Thursday

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          Character.

          QIC:  Prosciutto

          Date: 11/02/2020

          PAX: Abercrombie, Cold Play, Early Bird, John Doe, Lanyard, Limp Lips, Mayhem (Respect), Oil Can, Pebbles, Sidekick, Sunscreen, White Glove

          AO: Beast Ridge

          Conditions

          Disclaimer was accidentally long and drawn out. John Doe helped me to remember the part about modification (of course he did).

          While I’ll never amount to anything more than 2nd-best conditions expert to F3 Chattanooga’s Gusher, I too can be informational with regard to setting the stage for the audience.

          It was 36 degrees by the measurement device, although generally speaking, it “felt like 34”.

          Clear skies, no dew as the dew point was well below where it would be sensible (23) for November 2nd.

          Humidity at 47% which is right in line with what ENT’s would suggest is “perfect” with regard to upper respiratory issues/illnesses. Not too humid, not too dry; just right.

          Wind carrying due south at a 10mph (8.6897 knots; converted) clip.

          The moon phase of a waning gibbous was like a still-lit lamp at midnight giving enough but not overbearing light.

          Sadly, the scales were tipped in favor of the far-sighted with a visibility at 10 miles; us near-sighted homo-sapiens were hindered in the glory of a 10-mile window of clarity without corrective lens.

          An upward barometric pressure of 30.49 in made life on Earth feel remarkably pleasant and pressurized. Thanks to the creator for doing that because otherwise, we’d be dodging hot gas flames and great balls of fire from the solar system. (Quick side disclaim: I actually know the least amount of information about atmospheric pressure than any other thing in this world, so you can count on the things I just said to be only somewhat true, at-best).

          The UV index boasting a 2 of 10 as the light never once crept in. This is good because I didn’t see anyone apply a pre-beatdown sweat-resistant sunblocker. Sunscreen seemed to enjoy the ‘2’ on the scale – but that speaks for itself.

          No FNGs.

          COP

          SSH x 15 IC
          High Knees x 10 IC
          Willy Mays Hays
          Cotton Pi… Third Grade Exercises
          Maybe something else

          The Thang

          Warming up was fine, but we didn’t actually feel warm afterward, so we needed to stretch our legs and actually feel warm. The warm-up needs a better name if you never actually feel warm; oh, “COP” works.
          Merkin Mile with EMOM Burpee Dan’s
          Run a mile, at every 1/4 mile perform 25 Merkins.
          At every 1 minute interval during the run, perform 1 Burpee Dan (1 burpee : 4 lunges – easy way)

          Mosey over to the field concrete steps
          Stadium Step Suicides
          Box Jump a step, return to start and perform an exercise until you’ve box jumped each step incrementally.
          Round 1: Box Jumps / Squats (10)
          Round 2: Box Jumps / Lunges (10) easy-way
          Round 3: Audibled out

          Mosey to swingset / playground
          7’s
          Pull-Ups / BBSUs

          At completion, perform 10-4x4s

          Mosey back to startex
          Jail Break / Bear Crawl / Jail Break

          3MOM

          COT

          Danny Akin wrote, “Christian character is not FORGED in the moment of adversity, it is REVEALED in the moment of adversity”

          I’m grateful to have recently heard Laces Out teach from the book of Daniel, specifically chapter 6 – the teaching of Daniel in the Lion’s Den.

          There are many themes in the story, but one in particular I felt was a great lesson on employing high character and remaining faithful.

          During the story and that period of time – jealousy and envy were rampant for the regional high priests and “administrators” overseeing each of the 120 regions the King broke his empire into. These administrators found Daniel to be in high favor with King Darius through his responsible nature, consistency and faith. Fueled by their jealousy and hatred of Daniel, his enemies and fellow-high priests/administrators trick the king into issuing an edict forbidding worship of any other god or man for a 30-day period as they knew how faithful Daniel was to the God of Israel.

          Despite this, Daniel continues to pray daily (3x / day) and is cited for disobeying the law and must then be tossed into the den of lions.

          As the story goes on, Daniel is saved by his faith, despite every effort of his contemporaries to force judgement upon him.

          The men (and their King) were of very low moral standing and character. They showed inconsistency in their behavior, served themselves instead of others and then presented incredulous and unacceptable behavior on account of their jealousy. These are not qualities of high-character [Christian] people. These poor qualities are created and then revealed in difficult times.

          Despite the circumstances, conversely, Daniel continued to do what he felt and knew was right. He did not change who he was, he held steadfast in his faith and continued to pray through uncertainty of the times and the situation in the den of lions as he had always done. A great example of his character and how it was second-nature for him to turn to God for guidance and help. This was not a coincidence, but rather character being revealed during the course of events that had been hardened and tested and solidified long before.

          Moleskin

          Ask John Doe what a bottle of Bed Head looks like. It might surprise you that he knows, but moreso why he knows.

          Beast Ridge was tied for fourth1 AO in the region. There – we’ve set the record straight. I think

          Sidekick’s progressive left-natured awareness allowed us all to move on from cotton pickers. It happened at Beast Ridge.

          When I make a movie, Oil Can is going to narrate it – Aussie accents are awesome.

          1 Dreadmill, Landfill, Hill City, Beast Ridge/The Griff (RIP)…

          News

          Networking event upcoming, Beer Run upcoming, F3 Chattanooga 4 year anniversary upcoming. Stay tuned for all!

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            Papa was a rollin stone…

            QIC:  Prosciutto

            Date: 09/21/2020

            PAX: Blindside, Glee, Friar Tuck, Moneyball, Mr. Met, The Count, Xena

            AO: Lions Den

            Conditions

            Clammy, Dry and Brighter than the surface of the sun.

            COP

            Warm up / Stretching, WMH, Forward Fold for what felt like an eternity, Slow tempo merkins, shoulder taps, slow tempo squats

            The Thang

            Need to celebrate this hill. It’s perfect for a step-count
            Hills
            – 9’s to the 2nd pole (Jungle Boi Squats / Burpees)
            1 – 40 yard sprint
            – 7’s to the 3rd pole (Block KB Swings / Alpo’s) — Rifle / Shoulder Carry block to end point
            2 – 40 yard sprint
            – 6’s to the 4th pole (Squats / Curls w/ Block)
            2 – 40 yard sprint

            Mary

            Boat / Canoe x 7 (?)
            Flutter Kicks x 17 IC

            COT

            In Matthew 4, the bible speaks about Satan’s temptation of Jesus. In reading through the verses and reflecting upon the text, a question came to mind. Why is temptation always assumed as a bad thing? It kind of always is. Or is it?

            Matthew’s account of the three separate instances of Jesus’ temptation thwarting, demonstrates a perfect example of how to handle bad temptation. It shows how/when Satan will tempt. He targets Jesus when he was in the wilderness on a 40 day – 40 night outdoor CSAUP (Completely Spiritual and Unequivocally Pivotal) event involving the wilderness, prayer, lack of reparations and all sorts of wild cray cray and zero beers. An opportune time to get a guy when he’s down and out to say ‘Uncle’. Not this guy. Not Jesus, even though he was physically worn out from lack of sustenance, sun beaten and worn thin from his travels in those beat up rainbows he was sporting. You see, Jesus’ demonstration of God’s will proved that he not only understood the scripture/teachings, he also obeyed it. Two things; The Head and the Heart.

            Satan tempted him to turn stones to loaves of bread (Papa was a rollin stone); He dared him to jump from the highest point of Jerusalem on another attempt (aint too proud to beg); finally, thirdly, he tried the ol’ Mufasa and Simba approach – ‘you can have everything the light touches’ talk from on-high – if only he just would serve Satan. All of which Jesus was like, ‘nah bro.’ “you must worship the Lord and only serve Him. Get outta here Satan.” That was it. His mind, his heart and his actions all served one purpose in total alignment. Glorify God in everything, no matter what. The End.

            For us, it’s not a matter of if, but when you’ll be tempted. When you’re low. When you’re tired and beat. When things aren’t well. How will you respond?

            Now, my question about a time when Temptation can be good? Gusher tells me the Greek word for “temptation” is the same word that is used for “testing”. I don’t know why I trust him; he’s not very Greek looking, he doesn’t own a restaurant, he’s never invited me to a Greek festival and he has ZERO Gold jewelry anywhere, but maybe he knows, or maybe he’s just helping my story along….

            So, interestingly, the back half of the chapter describes two separate instances where Jesus is able to coerce four men (in total) to join him. Pick up their fishing nets, leave everything behind and walk with him. This was their livelihoods. This was their life. They’d known no different. In one instance, James and John left their old and tattered fishing nets, their boat AND their own FATHER! Just to give into this “temptation” – nay, this “test” of their faith – from a man who they didn’t know, selling a promise which was anyone’s guess. We’re led to believe these fishermen were believers, so it’s likely they had made quick assessment. They believed in their heart that a time like this was possible. They believed they’d be tested at some point, and, if the opportunity came to share what they knew about the good news and Kingdom of God, they’d take it! Even leave their old man to float off into the sunset with a bunch of old worn out fishing nets, couple packs of hot hands packets in the tackle box, some half-day old bojangle’s biscuits left out in the sun and a few warm beers rattling around in the hull. A test meant an opportunity they would give anything to do. It meant it was time to feed their hunger to fish for men, for all others, rather than for self.

            So, again, outside of the once famous 60’s Motown band, are there good temptations? Or just tests? How will you fare in your test? Are you seeking or looking forward to that test? Get ready, cause it’s coming.

            Moleskin

            This was the largest collection of 20 year olds I’ve been around in quite some time, and I am both envious and happy that they’ve found themselves and F3 at such a young ripe age. I remember my 20’s, but not well.

            Red Bank Middle school lights are like a 24-hour Krispy Kreme. It’s like being the halftime super bowl show. Everything around us pitch black, but that parking lot was like being in the show, fah real doe. Took me back to a time when I was a legend in my own mind.

            News

            We need some news so that we can talk about the news.

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              Happy Birthday, Smackdown. Welcome Recycle!

              QIC:  Whittler, Prosciutto, Recycle

              Date: 09/10/2020

              PAX: Ashley Madison, Burrito, Coypu, Gusher, Hambone, Holy Kiss, Joanna, Laces Out, Old School, Pediasure, Pomade, Pound Dog, Prosciutto, Red Raider, Truck Stop, Whittler

              AO: Smackdown

              Conditions

              And here’s Gusher for the report…

              **Looks at Gusher who is obviously assessing the conditions…

              COP

              Whittler: Mosey around athletic club from the back just the way Whittler loves it.

              SSH x 25
              Imperial Walkers x 15
              Arm Circles x 15
              Ray Lewis x 15
              SSH x 25

              Mosey to front of athletic club in full view of the cardio crew through the windows
              Monkey Humpers x 15
              3rd Graders x 15

              Mosey back to track
              Box jump suicides x 3 rounds

              Mosey

              The Thang


              Hand off to Prosciutto
              1 minute high knees
              1 minute mountain climber
              1 minute high plank

              Split the group in two by threve’s (3 and 5); two single file lines standing in endzone and looking down the field
              Bear Crawl Merkin Indigenous Peoples Format
              Pax at the back of line bear crawl sprints to front of line while all other pax hold plank

              When bear crawl man reaches front of line, he calls ‘Down’ for the whole line to perform a single (proper) merkin

              1 Round of this

              Circle Burp & SSH

              Everyone starts by SSH’ing. Every pax gets a chance to call ‘Down’. When we reach end of line

              1 more round of the Bear Crawl Merkin Indigenous Peoples Format

              Hand off to Recycle

              Burpee EMOM Dora

              PAX pair up in groups of three in pairs.

              When EMOM timer starts, one PAX counts reps, second PAX completes as many burpees as he can in one minute. Swap when timer goes off.

              200 Big Boi Situps
              400 American Hammers single count
              400 Flutter Kicks single count

              TIME

              COT

              On this day last year, Smackdown was launched and a new standard was set across Chattanooga and all the lands; a beautiful scene overlooking the valleys and rivers.

              It was then, as it was today, a superb morning filled with cool mountainous air, fresh dew landscape and a willing group of able-bodied gentlemen to assume the challenge of starting anew as had been done previously (albeit, at lower altitudes).

              Questions abound, will the thin air make us weak? Will it help?

              Are we men on high? or high on men?

              With the expensive homes within earshot, are people up here really interested in “free”?

              Can we justify adding a second day right in middle of iron pax?

              We had 3 FNGs that day, will they return?

              Fast forward one year later, so much has happened. So much growth. So so so much growth. A Saturday added, a pandemic resurgence. Men responded in ways unimaginable.

              One man set himself apart from the rest, accepted his next challenge and calling. He stepped up and began to make it his own, without being formally asked. He was the clear choice without having been chosen.               He made himself the only choice. High impact men are expected to act in this way.

              I say all that to say this – it is with great pleasure and excitement that Whittler and I step aside and hand-off the Smackdown AOQ to Recycle (Gray Ramsey) and look forward to where it goes from here!

              Moleskin

              • Even in his absence, Naked Gun heaves were imitated and honored numerous times; by the one guy that you would expect to imitate them. You’ve made a mark on all of us. Thank you.
              • If your q instructions go further than a sentence or two, Pax begin to grumble and lose focus… Burrito will taunt you mercilessly.
              • The indigenous people bear crawl will make men ornery; worth it every time.

              News

              9/14 #Convoy kickoff Monday – 0530 at Signal Mountain High School

              9/15 Pound Dog Rest Day™ at #smackdown

              9/17 IronPAX Week 3 at #smackdown

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                Posted on

                Pickled Reformation

                QIC:  Prosciutto

                Date: 09/12/2020

                PAX: Afterbirth, Blue, Hambone, Laces Out, Milkman

                AO: Reformation

                Conditions

                Humidity was thicccly, like…. a milkshake from Bruster’s. A relatively quiet scene until the county cop, the sheriff and the signal mountain police showed up with lights on behind the church. I’m not sure what they could be doing at 5:30am, but, this time they weren’t worried about the men of F3. Maybe they were searching for a naked burrito. Didn’t have the heart to tell them he’s been MIA from Reformation since 1993.

                Very little light and visibility. The crew, though smallish, was ready to do get along with what they had come to do and that’s where this story begins…

                COP

                Mostly stretching, shoulder taps, slow tempo merkins and great conversation.

                With muscles stretched, we set out for a merkin mile run interrupted with EMOM (10 monkey humpers). Mile loop back to the parking lot for the thang.

                The Thang

                A little spin on a familiar dora. This time, though, the exercise called was more of a routine; and each rep was more like a round. Fabulous.

                Pair up – P1 run & burpee; P2 performs exercise/routine
                Steroidal Dora
                P1 out and back to a point 3 times. First time, 1 burpee, second, 2 burpees, third time, 3 burpees
                P2 performs the following until the team collectively reaches the total reps.

                R1: Worst Merkins Ever x 100 50
                R2: Jump Squats x 100
                R3: 4×4’s x 100 50

                That was enough of that trash. What was I thinking!?

                So then we moved onto playing a little game from childhood; Pickle!

                Afterbirth had to remind me that it was a team game, not a two-on-one. Once that got fixed, it was game on!

                Rules were pretty simple. If the defensive side lost, they did (what else?) pickle pounders – otherwise the runner did the pounding pickle. (Note: Penalties began as burpees, but that was veto’d after a few rounds as that was nonsensical.)

                COT

                Just started the journey through the word this past week with the journal from Laces Out. I’ve not spent much time reading chunks of scripture in linear fashion. So, it’s a wonderful exercise and a test to do it as a daily task. A recent passage was from Matthew 3: 1-12.

                In these verses, John the Baptist is introduced and he’s quoting a verse from Isaiah 40; “Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.” The verses go on to illustrate a picture of John baptizing droves of people from Jerusalem and Judea; lands near and far. Some such folks were the Pharisees and Sadducees (the two major religious groups in Israel at the time of Christ). Strangely enough, each of these two groups strongly opposed Jesus.

                John exhorted the people not to just hypocritically repent because the promise and proximity of the Kingdom of Heaven, but rather to repent with one’s whole self – mind, body and spirit. John’s way of preaching was not just of one delivering the law of God, but also too, he lived that way as well. Pretty simple takeaway; ‘Practice what you preach’

                It’s too easy to say something or do something and follow through by going through the motions. It’s another to do so with investment of that thought and action.

                TL;DR – Explained delicately from my youthful hood-life: “If you don’t come strong, don’t come at all.”

                Moleskin

                It was great to have guys from off the mountain (Blue and Milkman) to help draw down Reformation. So long, Reformation, it was a good ride.

                Which begs the question… What happens after Reformation? ReReformation?! …No… duh! Convoy…. What a very interesting story; NOT! In a weird pickle with this AO naming business.

                News

                Reformation has expired. Convoy starts up at SMMHS @ 05:30am on Monday, 09/14. Go Get sum!!!

                Prayers for Laces Out’s daughter, Hambone’s mother and all those suffering from Iron Pax injuries/soreness.

                Recent Backblasts

                  Posted on

                  The Principles Detention

                  QIC:  Prosciutto

                  Date: 09/02/2020

                  PAX: She Shed, Sherlock, Milkman, Mr. Clean, Cleaver, The Count, Lloyd, Big Al

                  AO: Detention

                  Conditions

                  At Seventy-two
                  Air burdened with dense moisture
                  Fuzzy lap flounder

                  COP

                  Disclaimer
                  SSH x whenever Lloyd decided to stroll up
                  Forward Fold
                  Wilhelm Mays Haynesworth
                  Don Quixote
                  Probably something else

                  The Thang

                  Run down hill
                  French Dips
                  Dips with a hint of democracy

                  Continue Run
                  Jailbreaks
                  4 sprints; something mentioned about Herb Brooks in Miracle

                  Run to the incline heading towards the Hixson Community Center
                  7’s
                  Merkin at bottom; Bernie up Hill to dark light pole Squats at top; mosey down

                  Head to HCC wall
                  Balls to the Wall (BTTW)
                  Hold balls to the wall while having fellowship, conversation, light-hearted humour and discussing the principles of F3


                  Shuffle to the starting parking lot
                  Coney Island
                  Hambone’s cones flank the parking lot spaces, set roughly 8 yards distance. Perform movement to first cone and execute 5 reps, then retreat back to start cone. Perform movement to second cone and execute 10 reps, then retreat back to start cone. Do the same for the last cone with 15 reps. 5 , 10, 15 (format below shown as Movement / Exercise)
                  1) Burpee Broad Jump / Hand Release Merkins
                  2) Bear Crawl / Plank Jacks
                  **Shortened due to time constraints

                  Shuffle back to the wall
                  Wall Sit Super set
                  Wall sit while performing exercises in cadence
                  Masimiliano Ali IC; Smurf Jacks x 7
                  Giuseppi Frazier; Smurf Jacks x 7
                  Rafaello Lewis; Smurf Jacks x 7
                  Bus Drivers; mosey to startex

                  2 minutes of Mary
                  LBC
                  Heel Touches

                  COT

                  So, real talk. The principles of F3 persist deeply through all the F’s. At first glance, they appear very tightly coupled with the first-F only. That is, if you see them for face value.

                  So, Gusher (fitting for this discussion) – who serves as a real-life biblical concordance of scripture to me at times – is one of my go-to dudes for all things life and personal mentorship; in many ways, he’s like a shield-lock for me (am I to him?? – Read on). I asked him if he could provide any wisdom or virtue from scripture about a Free Men’s leadership group, which is peer-led, meets outside rain or shine, and ends in a circle of trust. You know, like, all the principles. What I expected was his typical witty banter suggesting that the Bible doesn’t necessarily favor cultish types of groups, nor does it offer advisement on such risky things like monkey humpers or pickle pounding. To my dismay, what he provided was spectacular; it is what I shared.

                  Proverbs talks about the danger of isolating oneself. Men need community and proximate male relationships.

                  “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment”. Proverbs 18:1

                  “A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel”. Proverbs 1:5

                  To be wise, we must surround ourselves with choice men. Like those we find in F3.


                  My time in F3 has afforded me the incredible opportunity to meet a number of choice men; too many to name. It is entirely because of the community that surround me that I’m not the same as I first arrived. Unto my own, I’m of very low value to society and offer little in terms of a navigational beacon for others’ morality. Admittedly, I’m a better and more improved version of the man I once was.

                  Hard Disclaimer: For the haters, if you don’t like me now, imagine how awful I once was! But this is as good as I get. Mea culpa.

                  Seek out relationships to draw closer to those that you frequently meet in the early hours of our days. The proximate relationship and example you share and receive will make a difference in your life.

                  Moleskin

                  • Snatch can now tell you all about peer-led workouts; ask him sometime.
                  • Big Al allegedly attended “higher education” in Alabama (lol-what?). I cannot remember the name, it didn’t ring a bell. He swore it was a 4-year accredited university. I wasn’t aware that any Alabama schools qualified for accreditation across the national education system.
                  • She Shed is a long-haired hater; but he commented on my Bruce Jenner look. He’s jelly
                  • Mr. Clean sweats so much. The end.
                  • Public shaming and condemnation aside, this is the very first Detention backblast on record. Let it be said, let it be known. All other AOQs before me (of which there were 5) had the opportunity slip through their fingers. Only one can be the first. Thank you.

                  News

                  There was a lot of news. Iron Pax was at the forefront.

                  Recent Backblasts

                    Posted on

                    Heavy Bertations

                    QIC:  Prosciutto

                    Date: 07/10/2020

                    PAX: Threeskin, Cavity Search, John Doe, Black Out, Woodrider, Hey Buddy, WreckedEm, Purple Rain, Cold Play, WuzntMe

                    AO: Parliament

                    Conditions

                    Dark, Dewy, a very derrison

                    COP

                    1/4 mile lap around the track

                    Queue the walk-up music;
                    2001 –> Alan Parson – “Sirius (Chicago Bulls theme)” –> WWE – Degeneration X intro

                    SSH x 25
                    Slow Tempo Squats
                    Plank Jacks
                    Merkins
                    3rd Grade Exercises
                    Forward Folds

                    The Thang

                    I don’t know why I had such a hard time explaining this (not to mention the stroke I had midway through) and figuring out who had blocks who didn’t what to do about modification a derry derrison, indeed (see moleskin for reference)

                    Farm Strong
                    Start at first cone with two blocks
                    1) Two block farmer carry between cones; 10 shrugs at each stop
                    When you return, complete 5 – 4×4’s
                    *Shuttle-run cones and plank for six

                    2) Two block farmer carry between cones; 10 side bends at each stop
                    When you return, complete 5 – 4×4’s
                    *Shuttle-run cones and plank for six

                    3) Lunge with one block to each cone; 10 Kettle Bell Swings (omaha 5 KB swings)
                    When you return, complete 5 – 4×4’s
                    *Shuttle-run cones and plank for six

                    4) Reverse Lunge with one block to each cone; 5 John McCains (omaha: squat with press)
                    When you return, complete 5 – 4×4’s
                    *Shuttle-run cones and plank for six

                    10 Years – Wasteland
                    Perform Burpees during the heavy guitar part, then alternate 10 SSH / 10 Plank Jack during the lighter sections.

                    COT

                    Shared Leadership

                    Once you’ve become competent of a skill, pass it onto another person. Become their mentor.

                    It’s just as valuable of a skill to lead another to competency of a certain skill than to actually master the skill itself. This mentorship provides a development opportunity and then, once competency is reached, presents a leadership opportunity when the mentee is ready to be the mentor. This is shared leadership and leadership development at its core.

                    As leaders, we are to become obsolescent and always be searching to create the next leader.

                    It’s occurred to me after having spent time at Parliament the past two Friday’s – the practice of Leadership Development and Shared Leadership is well understood. Great things happening in this region

                    Moleskin

                    This was me explaining the main thang this morning:

                    Quoth YHC, “very very heavy bertatious block merra fiven shuttling four and fourian derrisons sixisins and John McCain”

                    • Walk-in Music is alot more effective if the announcer with the bull horn actually knows the participants’ names; failure by the Q
                    • Note to future Parliament Q’s – be ready to offer modification of exercises
                    • 10 Counts can be difficult for new guys; in the end, through proper tutelage and good example – it is a skill that can be learnt
                    • The rat maze from parliament’s tennis court parking lot to the track auxiliary parking lot is just that – a chaotic series of pathways that are unclear in the dark
                    • Threeskin’s second block color is “Iron Pax Gold” per the spray paint can. Respect that.

                    News

                    Heaven & Ale Ooltewah Happy Hour tonight!
                    Dad’s Days coming up at two Saturday locations in two weeks

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