Bucket list Beatdown at Hot Dam

QIC:  Dundee

Date: 10/20/2022

PAX: N/A

AO: Hot Dam


Conditions

Everyone present enjoyed a perfect evening for a beatdown. Sixty-two degrees and the sun was shining.


COP

A thorough disclaimer was issued, though it was made very clear that if any Pax was injured, they were on their own. No one was helping anyone back to their vehicle. Save that nonsense for the gloom.

SSH x 35
WMH x 10
3GE x 10
Shoulder Blasters


The Thang

On the hillside, cones were setup thirty yards apart. The format was double elevens. Two reps of the first exercise on one end, travel to the other, twenty reps of the second exercise on the other end. Travel back. Four reps of the first exercise, travel, eighteen reps of the second, travel. The Pax caught on to the idea pretty quickly. All Pax started at the bottom of the hill. First exercise was squats. Travel method up the hill was block bears (pax bear crawled up the hill, pulling the block). At the top of the hill, the exercise was merkins. Travel back to the bottom was rifle carries. Any Pax that finished early would join the six. Somehow, all Pax finished at exactly the same time. For the second round, first exercise was Imperial Walkers, second exercise was curls. Time ran out very early in the second round.


Moleskin

Mumble chatter was intense. A lot of colorful language not suitable for print was spilled. The Pax were unanimously opposed to doing more block bears despite completing 360 yards of them by the end of the workout.


News

3rd F opportunity Saturday morning at Shothouse following a beatdown.
Reminder that Chubbies is always looking for help on Monday nights.

 

Hit me again, and put some Stank on it!

QIC: 9 Volt

Date: 10/19/22

PAX:  Boy Scout, Transplant, Irish, Cru cru, Rodeo, Back pew

AO: Lions-den

Make it Stank – Special Aromatic Dance Playlist


Conditions

  • Past performance is no guarantee of future results
  • Many suitcases look alike so be sure to check the tags before retrieving yours
  • If it lasts more than 4 hours call your doctor
  • Side effects may include un-controllable diarrehea. … and fainting

COP

SSH ICx20,  Squats ICx20, Baby arm circle fwdx15, revx15, sealclapx15, SSH ICx20, Forward fold ICx10, High Knees ICx20, Willy Maze Haze ICx10

The Thang

Swamp Run
PAX runs 75 yards out and back between exercises
     Turn around when leader passes you
      Do 2 extra reps for every person you pass

1. 10 Jump squats
2. 20 Hand Release Merkins
3. 20 Crab jacks
4. 50 calf raises
5. 20 Cap’t Thor (In the grass or you’ll get an F3 tramp stamp)
6. 25 Carolina Dry Docks
7. 30 LBC
8. 10 Burpees
9. 20 Lunge
10. 25 Wide Merkins
11. 20 SSH
12. 20 Monkey Humpers
13. 20 BBSU


COT

An interesting reaseach article I ran across in which people who were incouraged to think of their weekend as a vacation rather than just a weekend reported enjoying it more even though they didn’t do anything very different.  Attitude is important.


Moleskin

Everybody loves accordian music


Recent Backblasts

    Bleachers and Intervals

    QIC:  Blackout

    Date: 10/7/2022

    PAX: Chelms – Charlotte, Chiclet, NoDoz, Pipeline, Roundup, Second Base

    AO: Parliament


    Conditions

    Colder than anticipated


    COP

    Mosey to bleachers

    • FF – oyo
    • SSH – x25 IC
    • Arm Circles – x25 IC
    • Reverse Arm Circles – x25 IC

    The Thang

    Interval Round 1 – 50 Seconds on 10 Seconds off

    • Burpees
    • Dips
    • Squats
    • Incline Merkins
    • Burpees
    • Dips
    • Squats
    • Incline Merkins

    3 times up bleachers (two steps up; one back). 2 lunges on each step on the way back down

    Interval Round 2 – 50 Seconds on 10 Seconds off

    • Burpees
    • Dips
    • Squats
    • Incline Merkins
    • Burpees
    • Dips
    • Squats
    • Incline Merkins

    3 times running bleachers on small steps
    Mosey to track pad

    Interval Round 3 – 50 Seconds on 10 Seconds off

    • Burpees
    • BBSU
    • Merkins
    • LBCs
    • Burpees
    • BBSU
    • Merkins
    • LBCs

    Mosey one lap to cool down; 2 minute plank to time


    COT


    Spoke about a prayer I read on Dad Tired. “God, You have forgiven me when I didn’t deserve it. Chased after me when I turned my back on you. Loved me when I didn’t love you….Help me to love my wife and kids like that”

    Spoke about the fact that it is not our job to judge; it is our job to love regardless. That is a very, very difficult thing. Challenged myself and the PAX to do just that.


    Moleskin

    Typical Parliament MC; great as always


    News

    3rd-F Chubby’s and Habitat Build


    Recent Backblasts

      The Mountain PAX See Things in the Sky with the Naked Eye that Others Pay to See on an App, or So I was Told

      QIC:  Gusher

      Date: 09/21/2022

      PAX: Musket, Gambler, Baloney, Shogun, Mansiere, Zima, Prosciutto, Pediasure, Yellow 5, Squirt, Jorts, Worm Trick

      AO: Convoy


      Conditions

      Today’s Details of the weather brought to you by the doppler system and confirmed by the existentialist experience of 13 men, none of whom were Recycle or Burrito and because of said absence a little piece of YHC died inside. But honestly, everything else was well nigh perfect. Wind, unlike one’s bowels after General Tsao’s of Shang-Ri-La, calm. Humidity eeking out a solid B- at 81% to remain in the honor’s barometric pressure class for one more week. UV Index at 0, allegedly due to sunrise not taking place until 7:28am. Way to fart sack yet again, sunshine. Often, YHC wanders the streets of Chattanooga and thinks to self, “If only the sun HC’d I could tell if anyone else around here goes to F3; it is just so difficult to recognize people clothed and in the light.” One time a man shouted YHC’s name at The Walker Theater. The M asked, “weird, you know that guy?” “Never seen him in my life!” Name gets repeated again. “Seriously, you know that guy?” Feeling a bit interrogated at the moment, “No, I do not know that man!” And a third time. “Do you know him?” asks the M convinced I am hiding something as there doesn’t seem to be a large swath of citizens of Gig City with either the name Gusher or the ailment of hemorrhaged hemorrhoids that gave birth to such a name (Could be wrong about that but HIPPA and all), YHC yet again now feeling a bit like St. Peter in his lowest moment, “Let’s go, I do not know that man.” Yet all the while, it was M.I.A. All because it was the UV Index was at a reasonable rate in the illumined Soldiers and Sailors foyer. Look, all one is saying is UV Index matters nothing when there is a free workout at 5:30am that is open to all men who want to get better. You don’t need the sun for that, but you do get to see other stars. Which is a nice segue to the visibility, which was anticipated at 1.5 miles. Albeit, not convinced. We got a stellar view of the North Star and the remainder of its Major Ursa at a cool 79.97 Light Years away (80 Light Years for the valley folk where stars take a little longer to see, but whatever). With such perfect conditions it is virtually serendipitous that “pax vobiscum” would be the word of the day. We received nature’s benediction and placed it in our hearts and ran like the gazelles we are into the wind that enveloped us in the coolness of the 67 degree morning. Really, couldn’t have been better.


      COP

      Pretty much panicked on the warm-up. Been a good four months since posting so forgot the order of commands, starting position, in cadence, move with your willy mays hays and add a forward fold but not in cadence, and then do some SSH in cadence and then that’s enough. Monday’s FNGs returning for their second workout gave a nice disclaimer for the Q. Some real men leading real men here at the Convoy. Lots of good things happening here.


      Its a Run Day, So Obviously Some Ab Work

      Like a good Presbyterian we sprinkled some ab work into the mix. But in a hat tip to the Baptists, all participants were adults of varying degrees of moral discretion. A true ecumenical run was had.
      It’s Run Day, Not Sure Why There Is a Subtitle to the Thang Title.
      Warm up lap around the learning center up to the Apex and back down again to almost where we started. Broke into two groups. While Group 1A ran up the hill and back, Group 1B held plank. We alternated this for 3 cycles. Speaking of 3Cycles, Recycle was not there because apparently there was a VQ. Whatever. He missed my previous three Qs, but as St. Paul reminds us, Love doesn’t keep score, so YHC won’t either. PAX then mosey up to the track where there was a cone-assembled suicide course. Each cone strategically placed at the goal line, home 25 yrd line, 50 yard line, away 25 yrd line, and opposing goal line. While Group 1A did their run Group 1B did mountain climbers. The same goes for when 1B ran and 1A climbed mountains in a stationary position. Then a suicide run incorporating Bernies. Then two laps around the track with 20 reverse crunches at each end zone. YHC was also sad because no Burrito. So much sadness (Recycle and Burrito) mixed with so much happiness (1A and 1B) that it was like living in the middle of a Hemingway novel.


      Be Rooted to That Which Is Stable and Unmoving

      Read the following quotation: “Whoever marries the spirit of this age will find himself a widower in the next” (William R. Inge). This is a wise statement by a dude who didn’t live up to its wisdom but that is not really the point. The point is that if we seek to keep up with the shifting winds of ideologies we will never be able to keep up. And keeping up is not really the goal. We need to be rooted and grounded in something that is timeless, something that is worth and virtuous that transcends time. Let truth take deep root and find stability and teach it to those around us and to our children.
      BALL OF MAN:
      Some prayer requests and prayer and sweat.


      Moleskin

      For a variety of reasons YHC has been absent for four months. Nothing could have prepared him for the incredible growth of Convoy Run Day under the Convoy leadership of Jorts and Mansiere, two solid HIM. It was encouraging to see new F3 guys immediately acclimate to these free workouts that bestow un-cultlike monikers and terms. A genuine privilege to meet Musket, Gambler, Baloney, Shogun, and Worm Trick for the first time and a high water day to reunite with Jorts, Zima, Prosciutto, Mansiere, Squirt, Pediasure, and Yellow 5 (The Oxford Comma is alive and doing well, God Save the Queen, Long Live the King, and Long Live the Oxford Comma). Group 1A was super fast and consisted of Mansiere, Zima, Pediasure, Yellow 5, and Squirt – the collective IQ of this group exceeds the GDP of Burundi. Just a marvelous group. I may be missing someone in that group, but again, it was dark. Prosciutto introduced 1B to the heavenly Starlink and (The) Gambler informed us that we could see satellites in the sky with our naked eye that others see on an app that you have to pay for. I don’t understand much, but I believe him. He showed us. What is ironic is that William R. Inge who provided the COT quotation failed to heed his own advice as he advocated for nudism, a popular movement of the opening half of the 20th century that, fortunately, has not taken off (no pun intended). Nonetheless we saw nature with our naked eye and in so doing, we saw more satellites than Dave Matthews knew what to do with, not to mention more stars in the firmament than there were baggy-jeaned high school hormone raged flannel shirt boys with sea shell necklaces of the mid 90’s who learned to play Dave’s Satellite guitar intro to impress that girl during spirit week. Take that run-on sentence and try to diagram it, Mrs. Hubbard from 10th grade English! There is a wedding in Buffalo, NY this weekend or sometime soon. Buffalo is home to a Free Mason who makes the best wings in the world. I am sure there are a number of Free Masons who live in or near Buffalo, but as of now, our only interest is in the one who makes the best wings in the world. But the wedding is not going to be at Niagra Falls because it’s a bit overrated. Rainbow Lake Falls is more impressive and one doesn’t even need to don a poncho for that. And honestly, a poncho is a pretty tacky wedding outfit. An entire run playlist of The National would be surprisingly more motivating than it might immediately seem. But these days, with the casualization of societal dress (but not apparently as casual as the late Dean William R. Inge may have desired), the question is, “what constitutes wedding attire?” Suit and tie? Sport coat with no tie? Tie sans sport coat? This would have been a great time for Burrito to let us know as he has been sporting the tie since his days as a Blue Tornado.


      News

      Big Events in England. Otherwise, a relatively quiet day on the news front. There are F3 events on Thursday and Saturday. Q reveal not necessary as event will be taking place regardless of Q-Identity or weather.

      October 3 – Mountain AOs organizing the Chubbys Ministry. Contact Jorts for details.

      Dead Hooker Burial

      QIC:  TinSnip

      Date: 09/18/2022

      PAX: Clothespin, Deep Dish, Cheny, Abercrombie, Pipeline, El Chapo,  9 Volt, Cooter, WetDream, Molly Maid

      AO: The-Battery


      Conditions

      Perfect Morning Gloom for a beatdown no excuses on conditions


      COP

      SSH – 50 IC

      BAC Forward – 1 0 IC

      BAC Reverse – 10 IC

      Willie Mays Hayes – 10 each IC

      Downward Dog Calf Stretch

      Scrap the Tip

      Indian Run a Lap to the Pavilion – 6th sprint to the front


      The Thang

      Interval Timer

      1:30 min Stargazers

      1 min Left Leg Step Up

      1 min Right Leg Step Up

      1:30 min Oblique Crunch switch side halfway

      1:30 min Dips

      1 min Star Curls

      1 min Left Leg Bulgarian Split Squat

      1 min Right Leg Bulgarian Split Squat

      1 min Jack Knifes

      Rinse and Repeat one more round

      Mosey to the top of the hill each man grabs two coupons and makes two even stacks at the cones. Setup cones 40 paces apart to make two lines. Then setup two cones 30 paces apart to make a 45° leg for each group. Staged 60 lbs heavy drop bags (dead hookers) at the start cone for each group. Separate into two groups of blondes and brunets. Each Pax member carries the dead hooker around the 45° cone to represent finding a location to bury the body. After each pax has completed search for a burial spot each pax member relays to the stack of coupons and moves one coupon to the other side of the cone to represent digging a hole. After all coupons are on the other side one the next pax member of the relay carries the dead hooker to the hole. Then continue the relay moving the coupons back to the other side to represent burying the dead hooker.


      COT

      Find a challenge that puts you outside your comfort zone. Use that to push yourself to grow.


      Moleskin

      Some of these men appeared to have previous experience with carrying the dead weight of a body. So for my personal safety I did not ask any questions.


      News

      Chubbys homeless ministry – need volunteers every Monday of the month EXCEPT the first Monday.


      Recent Backblasts

        A Ladder at the Batter…..(y)

        QIC:  Blackout

        Date: 9/15/2022

        PAX: 9-Volt, Abercrombie, Cheney, Clothespin, Cock-6, Cooter, Deep Dish, El Chapo, MollyMaid, Pipeline

        AO: The Battery


        Conditions

        Finally getting cooler in the mornings!


        COP

        • FF – oyo
        • SS – x15 IC
        • WMH – x10 IC
        • Arm Circles – x10 IC
        • Reverse Arm Circles – x10 IC
        • Seal Claps – x10 IC

        The Thang

        LADDER

        10 Burpees, 20 BBSU, 30 Merkins, 40 Squats, 50 Flutter Kicks (HC), 60 Toe Merkins

        There were six stations along the Greenway spaced around 275 feet apart (90 yards or so).

        • Round 1: 10 Burpees; 20 BBSU
        • Round 2: 10 Burpees; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU
        • Round 3: 10 Burpees; 40 Squats; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU
        • Round 4: 10 Burpees; 50 Flutters; 40 Squats; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU
        • Round 5: 60 Toe Merkins; 50 Flutters; 40 Squats; 30 Merkins; 20 BBSU; 10 Burpees

        Totaled around 2.25 miles, 70 Burpees, 100 BBSU, 120 Merkins, 120 Squats, 100 Flutters, 60 Toe Merkins

        Finished with mosey to the flags and two minutes of plank.


        COT

        Had one of my Daily words come through my e-mail this past week that really stuck out to me; some of these daily meditations are not so great and some are awesome, this one was awesome; It said “don’t let your feelings get in the way of your relationship with God”. It got me thinking about how often, I and probably many others, let our feelings get in the way of doing things the right way or the hard way. If you don’t feel like praying, do it anyways; If you don’t feel like getting up; do it anyways; If you don’t feel like being kind, do it anyways; If you don’t feel like working hard; work hard anyways. Whatever that IT is that you need to be doing but aren’t doing because of your feelings; Just do it! You’ll be glad you did.


        Moleskin

        9-Volt added many of his own 10 counts; Q actually utilized that as a good time to stary moseying again!

        Lots of MC this morning, loved it!


        News

        Chubby’s Monday Nights; Habitat event coming up; Round up VQ at Parliament tomorrow

        See 1st-f, 2nd-f and 3rd-f channels on Slack


        Recent Backblasts

          If LL Cool J and Dora Had a Baby…

          QIC:  Clothespin

          Date: 09/06/2022

          PAX: Cooter, Cock-6, Cheney, Family Tree, Oakgasm, MollyMaid, Duvet, WetDream 

          AO: The Battery


          Conditions

          Foggy and Humid definitely gloom weather!


          COP

          Forward Fold
          LBAC Forward (IC)
          LBAC Reverse (IC)
          Seal Claps (IC)
          Tri-ceps/Shoulder Stretch right then left
          Third Grade Exercise (IC)


          The Thang

          If Dora The Explorer had daddy issues and had a baby with LLCoolJ it would have to be something like this workout….

          Merkin Mile = 1 lap and 12merkins done 4 times (You know how Dora likes to explore.)

          1 LLCoolJ = A lunge each leg, a burpee, and a Squat Jump. We Did 10. (He better be in shape Dora is only 22 and he is 54.)

          Dora:
          100 Gorilla Humpers (HC)
          200 Merkins
          300 SSH
          400 LBC
          500 Imperial Walkers
          While 1 partner does Exercises the other moseys to the cone, does 3 merkins and moseys back. (Approximately 30 yards)


          COT

          There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole — he would dig, dig, dig.
          The other would come behind him and fill the hole — fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.
          A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t believe how hard these men were working, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.
          He said to the hole digger, “I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!”
          The hole digger replied, “Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.”

          Moral of the story is don’t dig hole and just fill them foolishly. Plant something in them and grow it. That is what F3 is about. We dig the hole with an EH, but it’s how we plant the seed in our FNGs that matters. We have to pour into them and nurture them. That’s how we make leaders out of men. That’s how we make each other better!!!!

          Moleskin

          Lot’s of sweat and grunts today. The best part was I got a few “I hate you Clothespin” out of the group. That’s how I know we had a good time! (As I laugh maniacally…)

          Yes we did LLCoolJs to Classic Rock music! LOL


          News

          Habitat For Humanity coming up 10/8, Chubby’s on Mondays, Pray for Tinkerbell!


          Recent Backblasts

            Murdering Hornets With Burning Hair!

            QIC:  Clothespin

            Date: 08/27/2022

            PAX: Mansiere, 8 Mile

            AO: Convoy


            Conditions

            Quiet, Cool and perfect for sweat equity!

            I must be scary…. Only 2 had the b… uh guts to show.

            COP

            Forward Fold
            Mosey Approximately 80 yards
            SSH 20 in cadence
            Mosey Approximately 80 yards
            Willy Mayse Hayse 14 in cadence
            Mosey Approximately 80 yards
            Little baby Arm circles forward (thumb up) 15 in cadence
            Mosey Approximately 80 yards
            Little baby Arm circles reverse (thumb down) 15 in cadence
            Mosey Approximately 80 yards
            Self Esteems while Q gets music turned on


            The Thang

            I was struggling a little. Could have been a number of things. We will call it the thin air being in the higher elevation and all.
            Murdering Hornets with Burning Hair

            Cut-a-Flip
            until you reach 50 Merkins and 50 BBS

            LL Cool J 10 Reps

            Pax performs Alternating Lunges (R-L), then a standard Burpee & finish with a Jump Squat = LL Cool J. The “Cool” part is the burpee.

            Fire Drill depends on the #of PAX (we did 2 times through)

            PAX in a circle, chopping feet or high knees. Each PAX calls out “Fire” all PAX hits the ground rolls right, merkin, roll back left, another merkin, then back up chopping. Go around the circle with the “stop, drop and roll” until all PAX have called “Fire”.

            Hair Burners 4 Reps

            To push weight plates (10s, 25s, 35s or 45s) across the ground in a parking lot or around a track for a given time or distance. An Area 51 Tiger Rag special.

            Murder Hornet 4 Reps

            Take on the Killer B’s Routine from Iron Pax ’19 but with a cinderblock coupon. Pax line up at the start. Murder Bunny 10 yards then: 10 Man Makers, 10 Lunges w/coupon, 10 BBS w/coupon. Repeat till 30 yard line. Once complete: Bear Crawl + Coupon Drag back to starting line. Rinse and Repeat the whole thing

            Move on to station Work!!!
            Stations on the lower parking lot when Q call Rotate take a lap around the court to next station. Q will call out the Mode of Transport. Each round. The in leu of time we only did 1 round of the stations skipping station 2. I wanted time for a stretch and some Mary. Felt it was pertinent to include the whole workout for later reference purposes.

            Modes of Transport:

            Round 1 Long jumps
            Round 2 Bernie
            Round 3 Mosey
            Round 4 walk

            Station 1:
            • 1st round merkins 10
            • 2nd round Diamond merkins 10
            • 3rd round Wide arm merkins 10
            • 4th round Flying Fish merkins 9

            Station 2:
            • 1st round burpees 10
            • 2nd round burpees 10
            • 3rd round burpees 10
            • 4th round burpees 9

            Station 3:
            • 1st round Squats 10
            • 2nd round Lunges 10
            • 3rd Round SSH 11 cadence count
            • 4th round backward lunges 8

            Station 4:
            • 1st round Baby crunches 10 HC
            • 2nd round Freddie mercury 10 HC
            • 3rd Big boy sit-ups 11 HC
            • Captain Thor 8

            Mary/Stretch:
            20 flutter Kicks IC
            20 Heel touches IC
            Forward Fold to Downward Dog Stretching Calves


            COT:
            S.S. Leadership

            1. I am the captain of my ship.
            2. I am in Ship Shape
            3. I chart my course
            4. I set sail
            5. I am a good crew mate.
            6. I lend a hand on deck
            7. I check my compass
            8. I persevere through storms.

            Moleskin

            Gloom Horns started early and abounded through the workout especially while doing BBS with a block.


            News

            Labor Day Convergence 9/5, GrowRuck 31 9/9 – 9/11, Chubby’s, Helping Tinkerbell 8/28/2022 with his farm. Keep PAX dealing with sickness in your prayers. Keep Tinkerbell (torn biceps) and Cheney (his dad) in your prayers.


            Recent Backblasts

              Trust in the Shield Lock, SLT, and the Q

              QIC:  Mr. Clean

              Date: 08/26/2022

              PAX: Blue, Cleaver, Clothespin, Free Ball, Geek Squad, O.B., Ringwald, Shake N Bake, Snatch, Shea, Starbucks, U-Turn

              AO: Shot House


              Conditions

              Muggy.


              COP

              SSH x18 IC
              Forward Fold OYO
              Willie Mays Hayes x12 IC


              The Thang

              YHC has been calling this a Shot House “Run Day”. Today, the proverbial “run day” was a combination/modification of two Hero W.O.D.’s
              Michael
              3 Rounds for time..
              800m Run (2 Laps) w/25 BBSU’s and 25 Back Extensions
              Capoot
              Completed in AMRAP Fashion
              25 Merkins
              400M Run
              25 Merkins
              800M Run
              25 Merkins
              1200M Run


              COT

              Certain Q’s maintain certain reputations, whether it is connected to the difficulty of the workout, the type of routine, and/or certain exercises, the reputation is there nonetheless and possibly influences the decisions of certain Pax as to whether they want to attend.

              Each and every time a Q sets out to plan a workout; he is tasked with creating a workout which provides each man there with something to help improve their physical fitness.
              Conversely, each man who decides to attend a workout bears some sort of responsibility to give 100% effort. It is simply an unwritten or unstated bond of trust that every Q, in spite of reputation, prepares a workout for the Pax to improve fitness, so the Pax will show up and give 100%.
              As a leader, you prepare to lead, or you show up to follow with every ounce of zeal you have. This is the truest form of shared reliance which is trust in its truest form.


              Moleskin

              We just swapped fluids…


              News

              Labor Day Convergence at Parliament (Wuzonka Ball Tourney)


              Recent Backblasts

                The Cock Commander

                QIC:  Prosciutto

                Date: 08/26/2022

                PAX: 8 Seconds, Blindside, Burrito, Dundee, Lyft, Ponce, Sherlock,

                AO: Detention


                Conditions

                Folks, we cannot overlook the first obvious detail. 5:15am startex —

                5:15

                I mean, like…. What!? in the actual, Same. Greer…. are we doin here friends? This already felt like torture.

                Worse yet, from my third residence (non-primary) Signal Mountain Chalet, I have a 25 minute drive. Translated: I wake up at 4:20am (AMIRITE!?!!?!!! WAKE AND …. SLAY SON! THIS ISN’T COLLEGE) to an alarm that says, “Bruh, I didn’t really want to be the one to tell you this, but it’s time. Wake up king 👑 .”

                So. I woke up. It felt like I fell asleep 30 minutes ago. So, we worked out basically last night and this backblast feels like it’s 24 hours late. #Cobains (obscure lexicon references are sometimes ok)

                In my not-yet-awakened stupor, I surmised that those other AOs operating on a 5:30am startex, “sissy time” – as it shall be called heretofore, aren’t doing hard things any more.

                In comparison, 5:30am now just seems… convenient. What a time to be alive.

                So, I arrive a bit early, 8 Seconds is there already and prepared with planted shovel (!!!), Burrito’s asleep in his car [his non-primary (but closest in proximity to Detention) residence is even further than mine]. I think he just squatted in the parking lot over night. Good move, that.

                The cars are rolling in. The humidity is real, y’all. Nothing relative about this. In this deep, sunken-down hole, often called a “valley”, it is brimming with moisture.

                I’m wearing the ugliest shirt I have and quite possibly the ugliest arrangement of colors on any given color palette known to man. It’s a crime and a sin what “Steve-o” put together for the Renegades in that one and only softball season. I’m embarrassed for myself. Everyone else just feels sad for me.

                “He’s gotta be color-blind, y’all”, one man said.
                Another man chimed in, “His Mom and Dad don’t love him”.
                A third, from out of nowhere said, “PENIS!”

                It was then, that I knew, it was time. Fighting through the tears and the embarrassment, the disclaimer was presented; poorly.


                COP

                Forward folds without cadence so that Burrito could say hello to everyone and ensure that he’s seen, inner thigh stretching…ohhh okay Burrito we heard you on the last one, WMH as he continues to interrupt and talk over everyone, arm circles – not the baby kind – this is a 5:15am workout – none of that sophomoric or third-grade nonsense….and scene!


                The Thang

                Mosey to start of what will become a run with merkins, which some would also affectionately refer to as a
                Merkin Mile
                25 merkins every .25 mile, with some backwards walking UP the hills

                Head over to the field to the cone set up; approximately ~15 yards apart
                Ladder with Bunnies Murdered and now Resurrected
                10 SSH at the start line every round, Incremented reps of Burpees per the round
                — Reverse Murder Bunny / Block Pull up the not-so-steep-but-noticeable-mole-hill
                Complementary # of reps in a Clean/Press to John McCain move
                — Rifle carry to start for additional rounds


                COT

                Love him or hate him, you cannot deny him and his success. It’s almost college football season, which means everyone’s excited about football. Nick Saban’s program at Alabama is one of the top programs nationally every year. It’s not by surprise, not by mistake. He has a list of values that he requires of his team, coaches, and staff.

                The first value is “Discipline”
                It states that there are two pains in life; the pain of discipline and the pain of disappointment. If you master the former, you’ll not need to concern yourself with the latter.

                Teddy Roosevelt had this to say about discipline:
                “The one quality which sets one man apart from another – the key which lifts one to every aspiration while others are caught up in the mire of mediocrity – is not talent, formal education, nor intellectual brightness – it is self-discipline. With self-discipline all things are possible. Without it, even the simplest goal can seem like the impossible dream.”

                I shared my experience this past Summer, coaching the 9 & 10 year old All-Star baseball team on Signal to a 2nd place district finish among 12 other teams (3rd in the state among 16). We had no business being there and no one expected it since our team was young; 80% 9 year old’s playing against 10 year old competition. But, no one told our team they weren’t expected to amount to much. They were only coached to practice hard, weekly; improving themselves each time they stepped out to play. They were not measured against someone else’s expectations, only their own.

                Despite their coaching, their discipline (not their talent) was what earned a higher than expected finish.

                The daily grind in the moment seems hard – impossible even, at times – but it may be more than your competitor commits to doing. It is through self-discipline that you become your only competitor and you become the standard by which others measure themselves. As TDR said it better than me, “it is the quality that sets one man apart from another”.


                Moleskin

                • The Yankee Clipper is legendary; for a lot of things
                • Burrito’s got a great joke about comebacks – ask him about it (privately)
                • Burrito loves Limp Bizkit
                • The last two points may or may not be related
                • Cock Commander
                • Ponce tells me as we’re almost done that he thought we were to do 10 reps on the other side for the entirety of the workout. No, Ponce, it’s a ladder, not suicide. Some say he’s still out at detention right now finishing those reps. Someone please check on him around lunch time.
                  As my Grandpa used to tell me, “If you’re gonna be dumb, you better be tough”
                • and that Ponce fella is tough

                News

                AOQ Passing of the flag Monday at Detention; great job in your leadership Nordic Track. 8 Seconds is awesome and doing things right. Two great men and a well-established future for this group at Detention.


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