Activate Your Glutes

QIC: Speed Bump

Date: 08/08/2018
PAX: Barney, Butterbean, Cable Cutter, Candu, Care Bear, Deep End, Dutch Oven, Fissure, Flash’n Slide, Flemish, Free Candy, Laces Out, Moondance, Ohms, Picasso, Ringwald, Sidekick, Snookie, Sunshine, The Count, The Peddler, Whittler.
AO: Hill City

Conditions

75 Degrees, humid as all get out

Disclaimer

It’s 5:30am and welcome to F3. I am not a professional, you are here of your own will (and we are glad), modify as necessary, if you get hurt, we will get you back to your car.


COP

Good mornings 

Finkle Swings

Side shuttle hops

Little baby arm circles (reverse and repeat)

Plank

Plank jacks

Alternating shoulder taps

Alabama Ass Kickers 

Side shuttle hops 

Side shuttle hops again (for good measure)

Now that we are finished with the warm-up, 15 burpees OYO!

The Thang

This morning’s workout is entitled, “I Can’t Activate My Glutes.” As you can guess, we will be working hard today to exercise the biggest muscle group in our body. As we go throughout our workout, whenever you hear the words “ACTIVATE GLUTES” , you must stop what you are doing and complete 10 squats using the best form possible (always squeezing your butt cheeks). Resume previous exercise as soon as you are finished.

DORA with a twist

Partner up! While partner A completes one Bernie Sanders suicide (1 suicide = running to all cones present and back to starting line), partner B will complete as many reps of stated exercise as possible. Once total reps goal is achieved, rinse and repeat 3 times with different exercises. Hold plank / Al Gore in between exercises if you get finished early.

  • Exercise 1, Merkins x 100 (good form!)
  • Exercise 4, Lunges x 100
  • Exercise 6, Big boy sit ups x 100
  • Exercise 5, 8 count Body Builders x 20

“ACTIVATE GLUTES” was uttered more than 8 times throughout the workout, much to the PAX’s dismay.

The Pax finished up with 10 minutes of some solid MARY:

  • Pickle dippers (small, medium, magnum a.k.a., The Whittler)
  • Michael Phelps (new exercise)
  • American Hammers
  • Flutter Kicks
  • Freddy Mercury
  • Xs and Os (from our Greenville friends)
  • Crunchy Frogs
  • More flutter kicks

COT

CIRCLE OF TRUST: The terminating stage of each Workout, wherein the PAX form a circle and conduct Counterama, Namerama, Announcearama and the Ball Of Man.
BALL OF MAN


Moleskin

Some of you might remember the famous Tiger Woods quote back in 2015, in the midst of one of the worst runs of form Tiger has ever experienced. As he withdrew from yet another tournament, he came up with another excuse for his poor performance. Fog rolled in delaying the start, and in his words, “My glutes just weren’t activating out there.” Now, TW is an amazing golfer with an outstanding pedigree, but how hard do you think it was be for him to say, “you know I’m just playing really crappy golf right now”?

Taking responsibility for poor performance, impatience, rude behavior, or laziness is difficult. Today, don’t deflect if someone confronts you about a mistake at work, or if your wife tells you that you are being an ass. Take it on the chin, own up to it, and make a commitment to be better for the rest of the day. Also, don’t forget to activate your glutes.


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